I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!
by Hatake Itachi
Summary: Leader decides he needs more loyal subordinates he asks his number one to mate but all best laid plans get tampered with as Itachi has ideas of his own. When Akatsuki begins to suffer Itachis changes they contract outside help. Crackfic MalePreg KakaxIta
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Contains spoilers for people who only watch the English version of the anime, as well as spoilers for only those who watch the fansubs. Basically whoever only watches the anime. Of course if you're like me and read fan fics that spoil the story every day of the year you prolly don't care but I thought I should let you know. This a crack fic meant to amuse myself. If you find any intelligence you must be looking real hard with a stretch of imagination. I should be writing on my other crack fic of the same pairing. I feel lazy.

Many thanks and grateful praises to Angel, my nurse friend who is kindly now and continuing to give me necessary information with which I can logically explain how male pregnancy could be pretend possible because if left to my own devices I would just say a magical fairy did it.

Disclaimer: I owned Naruto but lost the rights to Kishimoto in a hand of Go Fish. I didn't know how to play Poker.

**Prologue: The Evil Scheme**

Akatsuki. Deadly ninja organization full of the most frighteningly strong and talented killers man kind could ever hope to annihilate. In recent months since the nine-tail fox went into hiding and everyone member turned their focus to their own tailed beasts two members took on many missions to earn more money for their organization. Missions at times so tediously under their capabilities it was a wonder why they joined the evil diabolical organization at all. If you forget one massacred his family while the other was ostracized as a hideous killing monster from his village, not a whole lot of job openings after those blunders.

It was on a summons that Itachi and Kisame appeared before the mysterious man known only as **Leader**, though he asked only that Itachi be present it wasn't as if the shark-man had anything else to do and came along _for-the-ride_' is put. So in a secret meeting chamber with an astral projected form of the proclaimed _Leader_ the Uchiha bred ninja stood on a rock before him. Though one could be anywhere for this particular jutsu to work for some reason Leader felt it important Itachi come to the cave where the tail beasts were being held to have such a meeting. Maybe it was because it was unknown location unknown to anyone outside of their members and the safest place to be to speak of classified matters or maybe it was the spooky evil atmosphere that made conversation seem that much more dramatic. One could only guess the motives but the young man did not question it, that would be a show of disrespect. He was taught manners unlike many of the _other_ hooligan members.

Itachi did not speak and waste words needlessly so his greeting was a slight tilt of his head, to this leader jumped right to the heart of the matter knowing _this one_ wasn't much of a conversationalist. Honestly he could speak in long winded sentences, in great length and the sharingan user would answer with one curt vague sentence. Over time the man known only as Leader did pick up on what was referred as 'Itachi language' but he would not admit to needing help from many other analysts deciphering the one man language. No one needed to know about that tidbit.

"Itachi I've requested you here for one reason." To this he paused and waited for any sign of word or otherwise from his present company. Once again Leader's dramatic pause turned awkward since the red eyed brunette just waited patiently for him to continue. No doubt the overseer could wait for hours and the other man would still stand there with a blank expression. Damn that silent, broody and cool attitude of his.

"I want you to revive your clan and have babies." This was followed by a long pause as well though it was clearly not just because Itachi was waiting for leader to finish but was trying to tie together his response in the shortest curt answer he could form.

"I'm gay." The Uchiha's tone was neutral and calm like even though he was just asked to restore the clan that he himself killed single handedly, it was perfectly acceptable to him that someone would make such a request. Leader was sure he'd at least get some sort of refusal at first or be questioned on the motive of why he'd want more sharingan ninja in the world or _anything_. It was too much to expect Itachi to have some sort emotional response and he cut right to the point. A point that for a moment had Leader himself trying to hide his surprise and also some concern as to how Itachi discovered his sexuality. Somehow sex and Itachi didn't go hand and hand.

"Well... then artificial insemination would suffice." There was another pause only long enough so Itachi didn't appear to dismiss his idea so rudely.

"Improbable. To form a competent Uchiha heir Uchiha blood is required in both parents. Outside blood inference dilutes the strength and increases the chance no sharingan will appear. In many cases even ones of pure Uchiha blood did not gain their sharigan in their lifetime. That is to assume you wish to have my bloodline carry on sir." He obediently and politely answered so much so it was irritating to the evil lord who was thinking for a while now he wanted more subordinates talented like Itachi but could be shaped to be less obediently disobedient. To this Leader quickly had to reconfigure his plans to make this work. Then he wondered why Itachi didn't mention this from the start and keep the portion of being homosexual to himself. He would not ask lest he seemed affected by the knowledge in some way.

Homosexual, sharingan parents, two living Uchiha...

"There is another living Uchiha aside from you correct? How about that one?"

"Impossible, he is my kin, a brother, direct inbreeding increases chances of birth defects if its shared in our genetics. As Uchihas we have a different function of brain activity and though to 'outsiders' it was not widely known, Uchihas were commonly conditioned with psychological abnormalities."

"I see, understood." The Uchihas were a bunch of head cases and he got the king of the bunch. It created a problem though since Itachi killed all other relatives. He himself never cared for his family but its not like he would bother to go through the trouble to kill them all. Though maybe Itachi impregnate a bunch of women and see which ones would work out for the best. That could take years since the sharingan doesn't form until their teens Itachi being a notable exception. A gay exception. He stopped from acknowledging that thought farther.

"There is one person..." The teen super killer said letting the other man digest the piece of information and peek his interest. This was Itachi's chance and he wanted to take it. Leader hid all emotion but his eagerness made his eyes widen a fraction.

"Hurry and explain." He tone was authoritative and the black hair male knew he had him where he wanted him.

"He is not Uchiha born but carries the sharingan. He is not a perfect subject but as genius ninja and capable to using my bloodline without the aid of Uchiha blood he proves to be more beneficial than any other specimen." His tone was level giving the pros and cons of such a merger so it appeared to just be a conversation over any other experiment. It was almost eerie to the head of Akatsuki, almost but then their whole organization was filled with wackos. Itachi was just a drop in a bucket.

"You speak of 'The Copy Ninja' yes? You encountered him not long ago in battle, you had beaten him." For a moment the man sounded dismissive to the idea, his subordinate had felled that one. Though the sharingan heir was one of the strongest of Akatsuki it would be best to find a mate more of a match to his strengths.

"Indeed, but I used my best genjutsu and he lived."

"The Mangekyo? I see." Itachi gave a rather concrete argument though as to why he was so adamant made Leader think that maybe this had something to do with the teenager being gay with an infatuation. Ludicrous. He really wished his subordinate didn't share that earlier bit of information with him.

"Very well we'll get started right away on preparations for making childbirth possible from two males." Leader said resolutely, confident it was but a small obstacle to reach their goals.

"Yes sir but won't this take time and effort? Can we afford this?" Itachi thought to ask (though his questions sounded more like statements) sure that even if he was actually agreeable to the plan its end would take longer to get to then he had time left. His brother was suppose to come kill him soon.

"You forget our resources, I am certain we can come to an agreeable solution very soon."

**Three years later**

"Well that took longer than expected." Once again Leader and Itachi had met secretly in the room with a giant statue with large hands and eyes thingy. Though they had not touched on the conversation much in three years time they had long been preparing a proper method of implanting an artificial fetus in a male's body. The male was decidedly Itachi as he would host the child. Or rather the Uchiha volunteered and upon refusal drove Leader into a debate to the whys of how forcing the target, _'the other parent'_ would be a risk if said person was able to break from forced mind control or had a lucid moment in which would endanger the fetus. The damn brat always gave an influential argument. "You've been taking the necessary shots?"

"Yes sir." Itachi while he prepared his mind for the coming changes to carrying a baby the downfalls were many and taking estrogen shots every week for this last year did mildly effect him. Most namely his hair was glossier and skin practically glowed with effeminately in which had many more men mistaken him for a woman than before. The most detestable was his nipples were most definitely larger and sensitive to the elements. A strong breeze would make the damn things harden. Also in recent months his butt looked decidedly huge and unappealing in his eyes to which he wasn't certain if it was a result of the hormones or that he just never notice before.

Another annoying hurdle the procedure to extract and egg from him several months prior was also humiliating and painful. The nine-tail fox boy did not know how useful his 'Sexy no Jutsu' was in performing that task. (Akatsuki found and documented all old and new jutsu no matter how seemingly useless.) Through testing and modifying they were able to get an egg from a female form of Itachi. It would have made everything easier if Itachi could hold the jutsu for nine months to have the baby but alas it doesn't hold up when one sleeps. He knew the doctor staring at his nether regions with more than professionalism in mind. The amount of time spent feeling around the Uchiha's female insides was grossly inappropriate. Which is why a few days later the surgeon had accidentally met his end with falling on a sword's blade. The man was easily replaced the next day with little investigation on their part as to why he was killed.

"The experiment is in its final stages I've been informed any day now we can perform the surgery. Now is the time to collect the specimen and the necessary bases for fertilization." While he was not a bashful man Leader refused to order his subordinate to 'go screw the come out of Hatake Kakashi' with any means necessary. Whatever Itachi had planned to do to retrieve said bases was up to him. For one diabolically evil overlord looking at the Uchiha was never the same without a fleeting thought of what 'gay thing' Itachi done while away. In Leader's said defense he was a straight male though mostly uninterested in sex to begin with. Even still knowing the Uchiha to be the slayer of his entire clan and the most heartless of them all, for him to be queer was just... queer.

"I'll proceed right away then." Said the now nineteen year old man. Though the Uchiha's voice sounded like same bland flat tone he always spoke with the homophobic Leader couldn't help but hear a note of eagerness in the young male. Maybe it was the words he used, perhaps there was a hidden hint of desire or the sharingan user just gave off strange vibes, the Akatsuki commander couldn't pin point to what it was but it still unsettled him. Hiding all these thoughts he just cut off the connection considering the conversation _gratefully_ over.

Once left alone Itachi jumped off the large rock shaped like a finger and landed gracefully onto the cavern's floor. After the long wait he would soon finally have his goals met. The world would think him strange for basically reviving the people he killed but that was just a secondary effect, unwanted really. This child could prove more useful to him then what Leader had planned. With his and one Hatake Kakashi's mix blood he could prove to make a more perfect ninja than what Sasuke was meant to be. Of course by the time the child grew old enough to be a stronger ninja then it's father hopefully his brat of brother would have already killed him. Perhaps in this strange twist of fate the child would in turn kill it's fathers killer since the boy was foolish in running to that creepy abomination Orochimaru for training. It was a shame to their family really. Enough so that it had Itachi itching to slap Sasuke for his lack of dignity.

As he walked out of the cave the little hidden part of him couldn't help but cheer and rejoice to his plans that would finally come to fruition.

He was going to sleep with Kakashi!

Itachi would like to believe that was just the female hormones talking but he did have that hidden agenda in mind from the start. He wondered breifly if Leader ever caught on. Itachi didn't have an interest in just anyone and would have never pursued the idea of sex if it wasn't for that fateful day he met Kakashi in battle. Something about the other ninja and the way he endure all of Itachi's brutality really spoke of his character. After hours of mental torture of being skewered again and again with blade after blade he took all the punishment the Uchiha gave him and the sharingan user couldn't help but respect him. Kakashi took that abuse like a man and it was so sexy to the Akatsuki member.

"Itachi-san what are we doing now?" A little ways from the Uchiha his partner, Kisame, waited leaning his back against the rock but righting himself just as he spoke to the younger male. As the shark-man came closer Itachi thought briefly if he should bring him along or just send him away while the brunette went to do his 'mission'. For someone other then Itachi they might of thought to change that line to; for his 'mission' to do him, but that would be grossly out of character and not within the young man to think. In the end the Uchiha would most likely need to do some reconnaissance before he could approach the Leaf ninja and his partner might be useful in cutting down the time for that.

"We're going to Konoha." Itachi said not pausing in his steps, sure enough the blue-skinned man was hot on his tail to catch up to him as they walked along the dirt path side by side.

"Is it time to retrieve the nine-tail demon?" Though it was Itachi's mission to do so of course the ex-Mist nin would not leave it for the young man to do it on his own. Not pretty Itachi. Kisame discreetly watched Itachi's long wavy hair sway as he moved having an urge to stroke it even if he would never dare. He liked being alive.

"No. We'll be observing Hatake Kakashi, it will be _'that time'_ soon." The sharingan user spoke vaguely to this the bigger ninja frowned already aware of what he was talking about. He didn't need analysts translating to him Itachi's language.

Itachi was going to become a **mom** very soon.

Silence fell between them as one planned out actions and ran through scenarios of possible seduction ideas while the other silently cried on the inside that soon '_his man'_ was going to get pregnant with another's baby.

_End Prologue_

This was amazing, it took me all of two days to go through 2500+ words. It's amazing because I usually can't do a sentence a day when writing. So in this chapter you get the gist of it. For those interested, follow along Itachi's journey into pregnancy. Note that I love destroying 'bad ass villain's' images as much as possible and tormenting my beloved Kakashi. Chapters will not be as short as this in the future, I **swears**.


	2. Chapter 2

While I love all my reviews this comment I received was perhaps one of the finest.

Xtranew says: Your writing is -if I'm allowed to be honest-snarky XD!

It just brings tears to my eyes. sniffles But seriously keep sending me reviews, I need them to live!

So there was a piece in here my friend aided too, so instead of being with his friends at a bar Kakashi was looking for someone to complete a very important mission. Thanks Angel-cakes!

I can't wait until I make Itachi pregnant and everyone miserable!

**Chapter One: Infiltration and Extraction**

If there was one thing Itachi was best at, it would be standing perfectly still while being completely silent. It was a skill by nature, by personality, for if you do it long enough people will get freaked out and stay away from you. That's all he really wanted, to be left alone. The Uchiha wasn't antisocial just because he was an excellent ninja, that just made him good at avoiding people, he refused to engage in meaningless conversations with individuals who had nothing important to say to him. As he waited on a picnic bench reserved for the public to rest in front of a shop he gave every last person, male, female, dog (the dog was by far the hardest to ignore when it came up and tried to make relations with his leg.) the same blank eye stare. The kind that made you think he was looking inside you and condemning your soul.

It didn't stop admirers from looking at him from afar though. On this reconnaissance mission he abandoned the cloak as shinobi villages were more aware of the danger Akatsuki posed and knew of their code of dress. Though it was what Akatsuki wanted it made undercover missions harder if they were to walk around in them. Itachi was quite fond of his cloak and hat. People avoided him when he wore it. For despite being a dangerous individual the whole world didn't know him by face alone and thought that he was just another attractive teenage man (though he was commonly mistaken for a flat chested woman.) He never really cursed his good looks but occasionally he would admit to himself, only to himself, if he were born less appealing to one's eyes he'd gain peaceful tranquility easier.

"Wow mommy look at the pretty statue over there!" The Uchiha's face remained passive as he ignored the little girl's words. "It looks like one of my dollies." It was a most displeasing factor that this was not the first time he ever heard such a comment in his life. "I want one too. Mommy can we get one?" Though the child was out of a normal person's range of vision he could see her perfectly well and her mother, both finely dressed in more costly fabric. The child, with her dark hair in twin buns, tugged on her mother's dress as the woman herself was staring right at him with unhidden adoration as she ignored her child's pleading. In fact the woman looked rather dazed if the absence of life in her eyes and drool was anything to go by. He seemed to be getting a lot of those stares recently. Just then a foreboding shadow fell before him.

"I got your favorite." Kisame held out a plate of natto and for the first time since sitting down Itachi moved, taking the offered food looking in the other man's general direction. At this he heard the little girl gasp though he knew it wasn't from his partner's appearance. Itachi requested the shark man hide his blue skin in a henge since it stood out. Kisame suggested he himself hide as an uglier person so neither would he. This was a joke but the Uchiha did consider it.

The other man sat beside him though not too close, as usual, and began on his own meal right away. The missing mist-nin did not change anything other then his skin's color so when he began ripping his large fanged teeth into a whole chicken the people once admiring Itachi's beauty began to shirk away at the other man's horrifying display. Beauty and the Beast. Kisame certainly had his uses, this being one of the more needless ones the teen just indulged in for personal reasons. Though he hid that fact because he refused to admit he needed a bodyguard to avoid people's advances like a woman would, so he tucked that bit under the guise Kisame was suppose to be near him most the time anyone since he was his partner.

He wasn't using the shark to scare away grown men, love-struck women and small children...

"Taka-sama..." Itachi bit into his food as his eyes averted to the side where a teenage girl in pig tails in a frilly blue dress and way too much make-up stood, hands held together looking ready to blow a gasket at addressing him. The look in her eyes was far too lewd to consider the girl innocent.

"Yo stupid girl what did I say about talking to Taka?" Kisame loudly spoke to the girl with food flying in bits out of his mouth so disgustedly so Itachi's nose wrinkled ever so slightly and the fish man saw it. "See? He doesn't like you."

"What are you saying ugly? He hasn't said a word. Taka-sama your so kind to let this gorilla man hang around you, you're so sweet!" Her tone towards Kisame was harsh and angry but lifted to a unnatural high pitch when she spoke to Itachi ending her sentence will a squeal. The named 'Taka' held up his hand when his partner was about to start yelling at the lolita-wannabe to silence the him. The Uchiha didn't care to see more chewed up food particles fly out the other's mouth. Akatsuki needed to send their ranks to finishing school, truly.

"Did you bring all the information I requested?" He placed his empty stick on the plate and patiently waited for the young girl to get over her seizure fit at hearing his voice. In the dark abandoned part of his mind he hoped he wouldn't see any sort of liquid pouring down her leg this time. When the quaking quieted down to shivers she began to rifle around her bag shaped like a very deformed animal with googly eyes on it to pull out a hefty stack of papers. Some were typed out professionally, but mostly, scrawled with fancy writing and doodles like one would make in boredom or excitement. When she shakily handed them to Itachi their fingers brushed accidentally then red fluid flew from her nose and she collapsed to the ground. The ninja was able to retrieve the important documents without them flying everywhere and ignored to help the girl lest he get covered in blood.

As he skimmed through the first few pages it became apparent she did indeed gather some very helpful information, the photographs and detailed drawings were also _very_ much appreciated too.

"Are those pictures of him..?"

"Yes." Itachi cut off the inquiry as Kisame looked over his shoulder, an empty plate of bones behind him on the table. The older man made a face of disgust at this, curling his nose and one side of his mouth.

"Women are gross." He sneered glaring at the twitching body on the ground next to their table, people passed by like it was an everyday occurrence to them. Itachi ignored his words and continued to leaf threw the papers.

"Why didn't you hire a usual gopher like always?" When Kisame said gopher he meant scouting ninja. He used a witty code where as Itachi just used cryptic words. One time his Uchiha comrade asked him to kill a daiymo but said 'level the building at the base'. Kisame well... he _leveled the building_. After that the teenager learned to choose his words in a more peasant fashion.

"When working in fields with plants unknown to you you hire a gardener best in working with those particular conditions. If I hired a fisherman to do an agriculturalists job, well that would be just asking for the job to be half as decent." Itachi reasoned. As Kisame saw more pictures of a naked Kakashi he grew to really detest the logic the genius Uchiha had. So it was more accurate then most people but it ignored the fact the shark man would be a much better man for Itachi than the Konoha ninja would. So he did something most disturbing, he pouted.

A hand slammed down on the table and a most horrifying looking creature stared up at the two of them.

"Eh sorry about that, it happens sometimes in my line of work." The young girl, dirt in her hair and on her face, make-up askew stood back up. Blood decorated the front of her dress and she looked like she was just accosted by thugs in a back alley. She tried primping her hair back to the way it was but it was not like she was getting all the twigs and dirt chunks out. Undisturbed in the least Itachi continued to glance through the information memorizing it as he went.

"What is his next course of action?" Looking at the last page he had everything from Kakashi's shoe size to his brand of toothpaste but it ended at what the copy ninja did at noon-eleven today. It was now three-thirty two.

"Well Taka-sama of course I found out that for you, Hatake-sama will be in the small village near Konoha at estimated nine-thirty seven as I noticed he has a repetitive pattern at be exactly late according to which route he takes to get to his destination. Add to the amount of porno stores on said travel plan including at least an hour, give or take, spent at his ritual visit to a memorial stone with additional variables of menial tasks taken upon himself from those in need. You wouldn't believe how many old ladies and cats he rescued from from the last three days alone." At this point she clamped her hands together again holding them up to her face to sway dreamily, her face taken on a look of complete captivation. The brunette let her live on the fact she did the job beyond his expectations and could prove useful in the future.

Though if she didn't stop thinking about Kakashi-san in such a way _very_ soon...

"Of course its a pity not once did I get a shot of his face. Its unbelievable how many times something got in way before I could get a peek, I mean a tree branch or a cup is understandable but would you believe a boat flew into a diner once while he was eating just before he lowered his mask? That was just unethical!" She started waving her arms and for a moment Itachi agreed with her but in his lifetime he'd seen far stranger things. His partner naked for one, talk about blue balls...

"Ohhh of course Taka-sama..." For a moment the girl took on a bashful pose shying away though her face still had fresh blood on it, curling a finger in her hair filled with dirt chunks the Uchiha was beginning to get repulsed again. "I filled my end of the bargain and followed Kakashi-san for a week straight so..." Her eyes went shiny filled with sparky objects he thought looked suspiciously like glints off a metal blade catching the sun at a blinding angle though he suspected it was suppose to be something more alluring than it was. Itachi stood up and faced the creepy girl with her weirdly gleaming eyes.

A deal was a deal and he gave her his word.

"Of course, the transaction is complete, here is your payment." Clutching his shirt at the helm from the back he lifted it up and over his head pulling an arm out of a sleeve from the hand unoccupied with papers before switching them from the already freed arm to pull the garment off his body. He was then completely naked from the waist up. Many people stopped dead in their tracks and Itachi once again, though inadvertently, caused a bloody scene as dozens of civilians started leaking vital fluid from their faces. Kisame stood up and had the urge to lift his partner up then run very far away from there, though he didn't. Itachi hated being touched unnecessarily.

Itachi held out his shirt to the comatose girl though she was already brain dead and fell backwards once again to the dirt pathways gentle surface.

"That's just rude." He dropped the shirt over the prone body and began his trek down the street uncaring of the fallen masses all around them, red covering the streets and walls like a macabre painting. The only life around him was his partner who looked disturbed.

"Where did you find such a _girl_?" The 'girl' the taller man emphasized with distinctive hatred.

"The internet." He said casually looking through his treasured files again at Kakashi's pictures. At least the photographs looked professional and the drawings were so detailed it was enough to make him appreciate the Konoha nin's hidden attributes.

To this the shark-man had no more to say though secretly he wondered how Itachi found such a website. It was a certain fact when the Uchiha took up a mission he went to great lengths to see it get done throughly. Which is while discreetly oolging the naked flesh before him Kisame began crying on the inside at the thought of what his love would do later tonight to see to it he bedded the copy ninja.

**Break in the story, later that night a guy walks in a bar...**

Though it was more of a sprint that almost made him plow into a couple in which the steadfast ninja had to roll to dodge them. When he stood again in the next instant he ran to the middle of the room in desperation and began to scan the face of every last person in there.

"Where is he?!" He growled to the patrons of the tavern. Some, who were sober, were a little panicked but many drunks just laughed or cried, depending the emotional turmoil that brought them there. The skilled ninja did not concern himself with their hysteria.

He didn't plan on being late this time, why did that building have to burn down with all those orphans inside?! Taking great steps up to the bar the ninja slammed his fists down shaking the weak foundation making glasses fall over to address the bar keep.

"I'm looking for a man said to meet me here. This is very important... he was suppose to meet _me_, Kakashi Hatake, you understand?!" Kakashi gripped the bartender by his shirt and shook the man violently his one eye blazing with fury. If you could see the sharingan behind his crooked headband you would see its red color set a blaze with the black pits swirling in rage. The bartender himself was not unused to being assaulted but this was a ninja and not an angry drunk so he was a little bit more afraid than he would have been, he wish he could leave to change his pants now.

It was then someone in a odd western old vintage hat started to slowly rise up from behind the counter. He wore sunglasses, **sunglasses** in a bar at nine forty at night, and a long brown trench coat looking nothing short of suspicious. The silver hair ninja dropped the soiled bartender and stare at the man with intense scrutiny.

"Do you... have them?" The hound summoner's tone was nothing short of frightening though the man in sunglasses could be a deaf mute for all the fear he showed. He slowly pulled from his coat a poorly wrapped item and held it up before holding out his other hand.

"We trade." He said in a short clipped tone. The pair of eyes hiding behind sunglasses held the terrifying gaze of one riled genius ninja and did not move when swiftly Kakashi reached behind him to pull out an object from his kunai holster. With a speed bred from years of battle experienced he stabbed the shady man's hand with...money.

As he gave the trench coat man money he scrambled for the paper bag and opened it up to see that inside was indeed the precious booty he sought.

Several unreleased, rare novels with an 'not for children tag' was in his very hands and he brought the wondrous items up to his face and rubbed them over his cloth cheeks to sigh dreamily then disturbingly giggle. A grown ninja at twenty nine acted as though he were a school girl with the blushing and coy laughs he released. It was possibly a more frightening sight than seeing him ominous. At least if he was just in a blazing fury he wouldn't appear to have a mental defect. Now that he was skipping around in circles an aura of innocence being conjured up you didn't know what he was capable of, if it was just murder or wanting to have a tea party with a room full of dead bodies.

Apparently satisfied the ninja didn't leave but sat down at the bar his little chuckles less but still coming out once and a while breaking the silence keeping the room in fear.

"I want a beer. Get me a Asahi." Kakashi asked not so politely but in a normal tone as he took one of his newly acquired books out of the wrapping and tucked the other two away in his back pouch.

The bar tender stood back up and with great fear grabbed the wanted drink and dropped it with his unstable grip. It took two more tries and soaked feet later when finally he was able to give the ninja a beer before the older man ran to the back door. A moment later it opened back up as he pushed the stock boy out and demanded he watch the place the rest of the night. The young man not here for the events that occurred looked confused and as he stared around the quiet room he saw most of the people scamper out like rats on all fours, the waitress included. He decided to just serve the drinks but stay away from partaking in them.

Someone must have drugged the liquor.

The young stock boy began to clean up the broken beer bottles thinking they smelt a little like urine as he mopped. There wasn't many people left in the establishment. Just him, a rather giddy ninja reading at the bar, a big sleeping drunk and another drunk building a pyramid out of empty cans. They reached from the floor until the table and he noted the amount of cans there looked like more than what one person could handle, more like enough to give an elephant alcohol poisoning.

A slight tapping of a bottle near him made him look over to see a masked ninja reading a book in one hand and holding out an empty bottle in another. It was odd since he knew the bottle was full when he came out a moment ago and hadn't heard the other at all aside from page turning. Seeing how the man was beckoning him silently to get another beer he grabbed one from the shelf and placed on to the table taking the empty one held out for him. This satisfied the grey hair patron and he went back to reading, ignoring the drink.

Throwing the bottle out along with broken glass pieces the boy turned around for a moment, to this he heard tapping again. He looked over his shoulder to see the same masked ninja twirling his empty beer bottle still not looking up from his book. For a moment the stock boy thought the man might have spilled it but after a quick look around the floor, behind and in front of the counter, he saw nothing. The masked man still held out the bottle and with no reason to deny him the young man gave him another beer, taking the empty one. He stayed put just watching the man reading now and after two long minutes of nothing but silent staring with no activity besides the page turning the stock boy turned his back to throw out the beer bottle.

As he bent over to pick up more glass pieces he heard the clinking once again.

From his crouch on the floor he peered up, nothing but his eyes visible from the counter top. The ninja was using one finger to hold up the bottle balancing it perfectly and sure enough it was empty, _again_. He stood up watching in awe as the silver hair man seem to swirl it without it falling.

"Where are you putting them?" The make-shift bartender had to ask. There was no way he drank it that fast.

"The same place everyone else does, my stomach." Was his reply. The man said it so seriously putting the empty bottle down and tucking his hand closer to his chest while turning the page of his book with his thumb. The young man continued to watch him and only when he saw the ninja move his hand to tap the empty beer glass signaling he wanted another one did the stock boy move to retrieve another, though this time he kept one eye on the other man.

He didn't bother throwing the empty out or bending down to pick up the rest of the broken glass bottles, no, he gave the one eye ninja a beer and began a waiting game. This time it was a good ten minutes he sat there eying the masked man reading his adult book the drink going untouched. It seemed like the man wouldn't drink the liquid if someone was watching as he patiently waited him out. To this the stock boy gathered an idea.

Slowly he sunk to the floor like as to continue cleaning the beer that was slowly stinking up the place. Once he was down there he waited several seconds and then quickly lifted his head to see the ninja hadn't moved at all, beer untouched. Maybe he had to wait longer. Hiding his face again he counted to fifthteen then lifted his head his eyes greeted with a still full beer can and the ninja hadn't moved at all.

Irritated the stock boy sunk his head back down and decided to count to thirty then maybe he'd get to see. So in his head he counted to thirty, sure that this time he'd get to see just where the alcohol was going. When he lifted his head to see the ninja was looking back at him book opened on the bar the bottle being spun around on the counter top completely empty.

"I need another." The masked man smiled at him. At least it looked like a smile, he was wearing a mask, but you could almost feel it, sense it in his voice. The man knew he was being toyed with deliberately and it was infuriating.

"Where are you putting those?! No one can drink them that fast!" He yelled slamming his fist on the table the ninja just shrugged and put the bottle down going back to his book.

"What does it matter to you? I'm paying for them, you need only supply them." The bushy hair ninja went back to ignoring the other man completely as the young kid, agitated, glared at the patron wanting to throw him out on principal alone. Though the man was a ninja and if they didn't want to go they couldn't be moved.

Sighing deeply he was ready to go back to cleaning when he heard the insistent tapping reminding him he still didn't get the ninja his drink. The young man could have banged his head on the table in frustration to the sound and did.

"Excuse me sir." Spoke a soft voice, like a woman's near the ninja.Kakashi turned his head to see one sexy female that looked like she emerged from a porno movie cover and stepped into the bar. Both of the only sober men in there could have dropped their jaws, the one behind the counter with a huge red mark on his forehead did.

The vision of lust had long dark hair up in pig-tails and it was so shiny even in the dim light of the bar it reflected the weak light. It fell over her eyes that were so brown they looked black, maybe they were. Her long lashes and bronze eyeshadow accentuated this feature and when she blinked only to open her eyes again the delighted shiver of seeing them ran down Kakashi's spine again.

When she walked towards them with a show of effortless grace even in such high black heels the straps criss-crossing on her feet and up part of her legs made his body warm up more than the beer did. The dark angel sat down beside him her short, **short** red pleaded skirt, like a imitation of school girl, was very high up showing off firm shapely thighs that his one eye had mysteriously wandered too. He noticed her shirt, a black halter top, had an absence of breasts. Why did the beautiful ones have small boobs? It was partially depressing but when she had sat down he saw the plump backside that would look very appealing shaking as he...

He coughed out of nowhere covering his already masked face and adverting his eye.

"May I have some nihonshu?" Her ruby red lips asked. The tint of her lipstick bringing so much attention to the folds as she spoke that both of them were staring ignoring that fact she spoke to start with. A moment later the ninja nudged the stock boy knocking his arm to break him from his stupor.

"She asked for some sake... but I doubt you'll find anything but the cheap stuff in this place lady." His first few words were harshly spoken to the stand-in bar tender but soften his tone for the beautiful woman he planned to spend the night with.

When he spoke to her dark eyes once looking at the young man was scrambed to the back to undoubtedly find the drink she wanted, or run to the store to buy it, turned to him. The irises were indeed black as they looked sending another shiver down his spine. Was he cold or something? He almost wanted to look away but he didn't want to appear nervous, women love men with confidence. It she lowered her eyes first though not that she was being coy.

She was looking at his open book on the table.

When her eyes lifted to meet his again there was a hint of a smug smile, more of a smirk really then she turned her head again and that was it.

Kakashi was in lust.

Lifting his book he placed his hand on the counter and jumped over it grabbing another one of his favorite beers, since the stock boy decided to go to the store without getting him one. He then slid back over the table to sit back down all in one motion not missing the fact he was being watched the whole time. He continued his routine for the night and put the beer down leaving it abandoned as he opened his book once again. He didn't want to appear too eager and would let her come to him.

"Icha Icha Paradise was so much better."

That wasn't his voice. Kakashi lowered the book and looked to the woman next to him who was staring at the cover until he dropped it to the table. After that the silver hair jounin closed the book and tucked it away with its brothers.

"You ever heard? The characters are so detailed and the writing very erotic." The silver hair man watched her lips move mouthing words so beautiful he could have cried though Kakashi maintained a dignifying facade, yet she didn't stop.

He didn't want her to stop.

"One scene and my personal favorite was when Junko had a drink with his latest adversary, a beautiful woman who stole his breath away as they shared a liquor flavored kiss." Kakashi watched as she reached out grabbing his beer bottle but he didn't stop her, rather his whole body begun to heat up. He couldn't be certain if she missed his sweating but he certainly felt it, his every pore leaking tears of anticipation as her lips wrapped around his drink, the bottle looking very much like something else in his imagination. She closed her dark lovely eyes as she stole a drink slowly swallowing the liquid up before pulling away licking the rim. Onyx eyes opened again to catch his gaze, his cock already straining against his fly by the time the bottle hit the counter top and she crawled over to him her hand brushing his shoulder as the wicked angel grip the back of the jounin's chair.

Contrary to popular belief he didn't let nobody never see his face and once the dark vixen slowly reached up to pry his mask away by her fingertip he let her and almost came in his pants when their lips met. Her mouth opening to release the liquid into his and he swallowed it just before a tongue teased over his own, running languidly over his taste buds.

Beer never tasted sweeter.

Then the brunette pulled away a soft tongue lapping his lips one last time in jest and his mouth began to follow their retreat ending up at an exposed neck. To this Kakashi stood up out of his chair, in a daze, and wrapped his arms around the slender body his mouth latching onto a patch of smooth ivory skin the folds of his lips beginning a soft suction as his tongue began to taste the warm surface growing pink from his actions.

Then there was a small hiss of breath near his ear, a tender moan just under the surface hiding its existence but he could hear it as it sent a hot shiver through his ear down his neck and spine. The ninja's hands proceeded to drift down and up the tiny skirt to grip fleshy soft globes groping them like putty as he pushed his body into hers forcing her towards the counter top. Once trapped against it, escape for her impossble, his mouth moved to conquer new territories on the exposed skin near her shirt collar. The lower half of his body took control and rocked his hips down onto the body beneath him grinding their lower halfs together as his hands manipulated her to meet his downward thrust...

Lifting his head to look up at a flush face and lipstick smeared lips that were slightly parted misted black orbs peered back at him with no hint of fear or nervousness. Kakashi ground his throbbing lower half again receiving a soft, deep moan for the action.

"Your a _man_." Kakashi simply put. The person under him was awkwardly positioned. The area between his shoulder blades against the counter, the small of his back partially touching the stool chair as the jounin held the other's ass in his solid grip. The jounin's hands still twitched and squeezed the plump bottom as they stared at one another.

"Is that a problem for you?" The dark eye man asked though it sounded already sure of the answer. The brunette's tone dropped from masking his gender and was deeper than intentionally assumed. As Kakashi watched those lips move staring at how the ruby color grazed part of the beautiful man's chin he thought of his own mouth was most likely a mirror replica of the others. The silver hair male didn't answer but moved one of his hands from behind the dark hair stranger to the front. His fingertips grazed the hardness confined under a pair of cherry red panties, the bugle quivered right before hips bucked upwards.

"It's been a long time since I had someone this fine under me, what sane man would refuse?" Soft touches once teasing turned firm grasping the organ and fisting it earnestly while his lips played a seductive smile for all the world cocky and confident. At this two hands once settled gingerly on his back gripped the uniform man with an iron grip much stronger than the slender limbs portrayed. It seemed this man was full of surprises. Kakashi didn't mind, the image of his dark eyes fluttering close and mouth opened wide to moan was quite appealing.

It was getting very hot in here.

The ninja's body began to feel a lot heavier than before while his legs and arms felt so weak, like made of jelly. His stomach and loins which were burning from excitement from before now seemed to get so much worse. The heat he felt was almost too much, and so unnatural. He could feel even his fingers sweat while his coherency faded.

"What did you do to me?" Kakashi demanded arms failing to hold up the other man's weight and instead fought not to collapse on top of him. In his mind the leaf jounin felt like fighting and lashing out but his body was crying out, desperate. It wanted to fuck the erotic cross dresser beneath him. Torn between the two he did nothing.

"Don't be afraid, I have no plans to harm you. I want to do everything I can to make us both walk away very satisfied." Kakashi didn't watch the man's lips move but stared into his black eyes with his one uncovered pupil right before he saw a flash of familiar red and black. The silver hair man then fell over, unconscious.

For a moment the dark hair man struggled with the weight. It was unexpectedly more than what the jounin appeared to be which he attested to the fact Kakashi was an adapt taijustu user and would have a bigger muscle mass than himself.

Though the Konoha ninja did smell awfully pleasing.

"Itachi." From his prone position he looked over the immobile body to stare at the man across the room, the once sleeping drunk looking right back at him. Itachi pushed against Kakashi's weight over top of him and managed to get the jounin off his body enough without having it fall to the floor or falling over himself. Eventually he was able to stand.

These high heels were a very unwanted nuisance.

"I'm finished here Kisame, you should go ahead and rest for tonight I won't be needing you anymore for now." Serious and calm as ever Itachi didn't give a second thought to the fact he looked like a whore, throughly molested and completely the opposite of what his authoritative tone tried to present. His erection was visible under his skirt for crying out loud.

Kisame frowned rather wanting to cook the jounin in Itachi's arms and feed him to Zetsu to hide the body so that he could be alone with the skirt-clad Uchiha. In his head he began to dream up methods of torture to maybe apply at a later time when his eyes caught something else in the room.

"What do you want to do about him?" The shark-man shook his head over to the figure standing on a table building a pyramid seemingly ignoring their presence as his mountain of cans was well over standing height and looked nearly complete.

"Watch him for a while, unless he proves dangerous, don't kill him. I don't want to draw attention should anyone come looking for him." Besides it was a very articulate aluminum pyramid he made. Itachi hated wasted talent.

Lifting Kakashi's arm over his shoulder and holding it there as he wrapped one of his arms over the leaf jounin's body to steady the bulky form Itachi then strutted out of the tavern in his sexy high heels paying no heed to how strange it looked. Like a prostitute holding up what appeared to be an stone drunk ninja as they traveled out into the night.

Kisame himself went back to sitting at one of the bar's booths laying his head down miserable that while he was left alone his dearest love was going to be with someone other then he. It was most loathsome. _'Note to self, kill Kakashi.'_

As quiet return to the bar once again someone emerged from out of the back room holding up a high grade form of sake.

"Hey I got it! ...Where'd you go?" The stock boy glanced around the room seeing no more than one man playing with cans and a slumped body of a sleeping drunk that really wasn't drunk or sleeping.

His lovely wet dream and the annoying ninja were nowhere to be found.

"...Dammit! He didn't pay his bill!"

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Crap... I swear I meant to have the sex this chapter but somehow I ended up talking about beer and stock boys for like three pages and just went on a strange _rant_-page. Well that just means most defiantly the next chapter will open up to sex and the chapter after that Itachi pregnant and making peoples lives end much more quickly.

Asahi is apparently a dry beer that is a big seller in Japan. I also found out beer is a much more common drink than sake. I then also found there are different names for expensive to cheap variations of sake but gave up on explaining it because I just didn't care too.

I have no idea why I had a guy building a can pyramid either.


	3. Chapter 3

Here it is! It took so long as I was doing a project for an AMV convention... I went to Yaoicon! Among other things, not that you care... This is as told mostly from Kakashi's or a third persons perspective with a short at the end from Itachi. So anyway here is the smut.

Yup thats it.

**Infiltration and Extraction Part II**

Kakashi was being chased. A squad of ninjas were on to him. He couldn't let them have the golden pickle or the new Hokage Overlord Hinata would fry his testicles in the cauldron by her throne. It was a shame since the girl used to be so sweet too. Naruto never should have married her cousin, jealousy was an ugly creature.

He couldn't remember how he came to be running naked with the pickle but knew it could resurrect the dead and if the ninjas behind him were able to retrieve it, they would bring Madara Uchiha back. That was a bad thing, he molested Kakashi as a child. Then he didn't call the next day.

What a way to make a boy feel like a whore.

In his wandering thoughts somehow one of the enemy ninjas came to be on top of him holding him down in such a way that he couldn't lift his arms. For some reason his eyes couldn't make out what the ninja looked like, just a black silhouette sitting on his stomach and holding down his arms.

Somewhere along the way the pickle disappeared and there was a burning throb between his legs. Actually it wasn't just a twinge of heat, it was more like a tidal wave of liquid fire. He released a moan from deep in his throat, much like a rumbling purr from within his stomach. When the scorching heat passed through his body again in a tremor of sensual jolts. It was then he realized the man once on top of him was _sucking him off_.

He tried lifting his arms from above his head, he failed to comprehend they were there before, only to have no ability to lift them. Whether or not they were in bindings or he lacked the strength to lift them was unclear but another crushing wave of smoldering flames tamed him into submission and he stopped fighting against the restraints instead too immersed in the sensations to care about them. There was something so unnaturally intense in how his body burned, he felt too much and the mouth working over his heated flesh felt like contained lava, powerful, **all consuming**.

A soft lick across his cock felt so tortuously blissful, the tender nibble to his shaft made his appendage quiver and hips jerk up trying to get those lips to wrap back around the hot flesh. The other ninja ignored the demand instead placing wet kisses over the pulsating flesh applying just enough suction when he pleased to drive Kakashi's hips into a wild frenzy working to get more than a few pecks. In another situation the jounin would have loved the sensual torment, the thrill of being teased and toyed with until he could feel nothing more but the thrum of hot arousal coursing through his body spilling from his pores. The fact was he was already far **beyond** that point, so very soon at that. The half hearted tugs and barely there licks were painful as he was already over stimulated. As he lay there taking in the erotic abuse some functioning part of his head realized this was too vivid to not be real and he felt far too intensely for it to be a natural high.

_'Drugged.'_

The fog in his mind caused a decrease in reaction time and a very much delayed thought process. He figured he was drugged with something forcing his strength to evade him and his body to be overly sensitive, particularly to tongue raping, now that he knew this he was certain there was some ninja protocol to getting out of this trap. He just had to think of it while he received **special attention**.

That minor detail still eluded him.

Now that he realized he was awake, this wasn't a kinky sex dream, and Hinata wasn't an overlord, the silver hair ninja opened his eyes several minutes later (he was very much still running as fast as a one legged dog) cursing that instead of protesting the unasked for sexual favor, he was moaning the whole time. Rather hoarsely too causing him to wonder how long he was doing it while asleep. He sucked in a deep breath when his erection was grazed with his assailant's teeth that stopped him from thinking of anything but the heat at his throbbing cock that wanted to be released. The buzzing in his head diminished slowly so that he could resume whatever it was he was trying to do.

Escape, yeah..._maybe. _ If the person was ugly

Cracking open his eyes his vision was blurry and it almost seemed like there was a mist in the room but he could make out a dark head bobbing up and down slowly over his harden flesh, the picture not following the feeling but that could be because his eye to mind coordination was off kilter. Kakashi's eyes slid closed again with a grunt as the head of cock was sucked up into his mysterious partner's shameless mouth. It was hard (pun missed) trying to think through the haze of arousal. Near as he could tell the binds tying him down were crude ropes, though the knots were decent enough to hold a normal person, there was nothing to stop a ninja from freeing himself.

Aside from the whole getting sucked off thing..

"Stop..." He really needed that person to quit moving their tongue like that if he was ever going to think again. Thankfully and unfortunately the person did just that, hearing the command they cease their motions. To this, the stranger raised their head though heated breath still reached the jounin's skin fanning him slightly. Once Kakashi saw the person's face he recognized him nearly instantly, you didn't forget a face like that.

It was the guy in drag from the bar.

Dark eyes looked at him, they didn't seem to be the least bit threatening, almost innocent as they were shiny and wide. That was if the man's lips weren't swollen, wet and red from his earlier actions. The ninja didn't say anything more as he watched the other's face feeling as if he should know this man but not being able to place where from. The dark hair man sat up showing that he hadn't even bothered to take off the outfit from earlier. Kakashi's erection jumped, he had a weakness for cosplay. _Damn this is hot._

"Do you mind?"

Something so unexpected he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Excuse me?" How odd that sounded, he almost choked it out.

"I was asking if this is too forward, do you feel uncomfortable?"

Now Kakashi knew it wasn't the fog of arousal or near painful sensation in his groin distorting him. This strange person drugged him, tied him up, performed oral sex on him while he was asleep and **then** asked oh so innocently afterwards if Kakashi **minded**. Why was it the pretty ones were always so crazy?

"Are you insane?" He meant to say it in a hard tone but it ended coming out a genuine question. The man before him just blinked looking, dare Kakashi say, cute. Like he truly wasn't a crazed pervert in the least. This person had to be a fabulous actor, _he_ almost believed it.

"I just wanted to be sure you didn't mind the bindings. You stare at me like you've been violated and scandalized but yet it was you who had me bent over a table earlier. Did I misunderstand and you didn't wish to engage in sexual intercourse?" Glossy black eyes didn't seem fazed in the least, his voice light and reasonable, like he was merely making an arrangement or negotiating a price. Who was this guy? Kakashi couldn't contain his sarcasm or slight unease with the stranger's indifferent attitude.

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to bed partners drugging me and tying me up before I even know their name." Flush red lips tilted ever so much downwards as the bound ninja spoke but otherwise the assailant's expression and tone didn't change.

"My methods are merely for your enjoyment only, I find it pointless to play games when it's clear what we are after and would you even remember my name in the morning?" Kakashi's couldn't help but frown to how this person answered all his questions so nonchalantly, just like he himself always did, even better actually. It was a blow to his manly pride.

"So you did this all for my pleasure?"

"I'm far from receiving nothing for the trouble..."

"Do this much?"

"Not at all, you're a special case."

"Why? Are you a stalker?"

"I have better use of my time then that... I had someone else do it for me."

"..." At least it was making sense now. The stalker hired a stalker? How didn't he notice he was being followed?

"Does it really bother you so? This was all meant to arouse you and once you were satisfied I had no intentions of coming back again."

"So you went through all this trouble to please me?"

"I've already answered that. Do you wish to be released or not?"

"You'd let me go just like that?"

"You're a ninja aren't you? You can stop this whenever you feel like it whether I want you to or not."

It irritated Kakashi this person was so straight-forward and audacious. He couldn't be just a normal civilian; this person **had** to be a ninja. Not from Konoha though, not that he knew of.

"If it bothers you so much Kakashi-san you may leave, I'm tired of just talking. That's not what I want you here for. Now... if you want to stay... I can finish what I started." It annoyed the jounin endlessly that the man spoke as though he was bored one moment and sexually inviting the next, going as far as to reach out and squeeze Kakashi's erect flesh that during their conversation that dimmed to a painful throb. The naked man hissed to this feeling, his body responded to the treatment instantly. Dammit, he already knew what he wanted to do since waking up, but this person just had to be so irritating and smug about it.

"If you don't I will rape you." The silver hair man grumbled tugging at the binds and lifting his hips ever so much towards the slender soft hands stroking him. To this the brunette smirked that smirk the ninja first saw back at the bar, it was just as hot on him this moment as it was before.

"Will you anyway even if I do?" He didn't have time enough to answer before he was swallowed in earnest, to which just hot air and a deep lusty groan left him. Despite the danger of the situation with this unknown entity who was possibly an enemy ninja or at least a spy of some kind with a grudge against him, even with the threat piled high against his favor everything about this moment turned Kakashi on. A ninja was a ninja but he was still a man, a man with needs, needs being satisfied in the mouth of a very talented brunette. Not to mention being tied up while this was taking place was just arousing as all hell.

"Mmmh!" With one hand modestly holding his bony hip the other was fisting the base of the older man's shaft stroking and in turn getting soaked in the saliva spilling out of the brunette's flush red lips. The veteran jounin could hear the quenching and smacking noises the other's mouth made, something about it filling the silence made his cock swell as he neared climax. Too long, he didn't know how long his body had waited but now it wasn't like he had the reserve to hold back, if anything it felt like it was going to hurt even when he did after needing it so badly.

It proved difficult trying to raise his hips towards the ever attentive mouth with his ankles in bindings but it didn't stop him from trying. If anything it made him want to work all the more, thrashing and penetrating the compliant mouth. It wasn't until Kakashi opened his eyes he realized he had closed them, now that they were open the ninja watched his crimson red sex disappear past swollen rose colored lips and glide back out again glistening from the fluids. Grunting he bit into his lip, pressing up wildly near the end.

"Faster."

Sure enough the brunette heard and responded redoubling his efforts and pulled his hand away so he could take in more of Kakashi's arousal. The silver hair man moaned staring through lidded eyes at the sexy man kneeling between his spread legs lavishing attention to his cock. Just when the burning heat became too much for the veteran ninja to bare dark orbs opened locking eyes with him. If he had to give the look a name it would be best said as **carnal. **Midnight black eyes_ ate_ his visage far from sated but very approving, it was enough to make Kakashi feel more than just sexy, it was like an answer as to why this stalker wanted him so much.

Because he **wanted him** so much.

Sinewy long arms strained as they fought the ropes trying desperately to break out them to the point of cutting off the circulation past his wrists but Kakashi couldn't feel it. He was fighting to get his fists in that cocky brunette's long luscious locks and hold them in an iron grip so as his climax overcame him he could force his flesh down the man's throat. He wanted to make the stranger regret and relish inciting the jounin's lust.

He didn't manage snap the ropes but instead his body was racked with electric jolts rushing down his spine before they turned into fiery heat at Kakashi's loins coming out of him in a forceful rush ripping a deep impassioned growl, not groan, growl from his throat. He sounded like an animal, beast, a creature gorging himself on simple pleasures and howling out in delight. Sweat rolled off his pale skin turned flush red in rivets. The poisonous lust that tainted his veins before was released in a near-painful orgasmic explosion. Kakashi's body wildly ravaged the stranger's mouth to the point the man was struggling to hold the jounin down, his head pulling back as far as he could without removing his lips entirely from the sharingan user's flesh. In the hound summoner's dying moans and twitches, his body only now finding peace it had been longing for, the ninja's eyes rolled up into his head taking on a light doze with the veil of sensual bliss to lulled him to sleep.

It didn't last long, to that he was certain of. A soft hand gently stroked his cheek and he turned away from it. Kakashi never liked people touching his face. It always made him _hard_.

"Now Kakashi-san, as much as I would like to let you sleep I can not stay long and refuse to take you while your unconscious."

"Didn't stop you before..." The konoha nin solemnly mumbled, if with just a hint of childish mockery. The dark hair man's lips twitched into a smirk. He was waiting for the response.

"I'd prefer having your eyes on me as I impale myself on you." Once he was trying to twist his face into a one-hundred eighty degree angle into the pillow, that was until the brunette spoke and he automatically snapped his head towards the man lying next to him. The sleek body was partially draped over him, he was looking into black mischievous orbs that promised to deliver precisely what was offered. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say he was slightly aroused by the decoration.

More like he was so fucking excited he felt like swinging from a tree like a jungle man.

"Oh?" Kakashi always had a way with words. Unfortunate for him using his indifferent, bored tone didn't work to hide his anticipation when his cock had already stiffen back to full length within a matter of seconds at the mention of being ridden like a toy pony.

Yeah he was so smooth.

"You are a very self-controlled man Kakashi-san. Though you wear your weakness like a banner." The black eye stranger sat up on his knees only to lift a leg and lay it back down on the opposite end of Kakashi's prone body. Perched a top the jounin's stomach the dark eye nymph settled there for a long moment scrutinizing the silver hair man's every twitch, every breath. Not doing anything but sitting, black irises memorizing the picture, the naked flush taunt body tied up and bound. The tilt of his head, the sweat matting his hair to his uncovered face. His face, the stranger would study that longer than it all. He would most likely never see it again, a rare treat as it was to see it in the first place.

For the Hatake man, he was growing increasingly frustrated at the lack of movement. Though he did not want to admit aloud that the cocky boy was right, that Kakashi was weak to kinky sex. Any one with two eyes could see he read those books all the time for a reason, it was practically advertisement for; _ask me to fuck you! _So he was to say the least, dying to finally have his cock sink into the gorgeous man's forbidden places. He really couldn't stand to wait and knew exactly why the other was.

_'Fuck this sexy, hot, kinky bastard!' _

"Are you waiting for my balls to wither away?"

"You are impatient aren't you, even after I got you off already... I didn't think you were so greedy a lover."

"You're not my lover." Kakashi fumed at being on the losing end, though at his words the dark hair man frowned, well and truly this time, his chin crinkled with the expression. The silver hair man groaned then. He just upset the man who wanted get fucked by him, who knew how long he'd have to wait for sex now. Maybe he should be thinking about untying himself...

"You're right, lovers care for each other's physical needs and you're entirely too selfish for that. I'd say you've been a rather bad lay until now."

One moment the dark hair stranger was belittling Kakashi's bedroom skill, then in a blur of movement he was the one on his stomach, face first on the ground with one arm held forcefully behind his back and the other caught at the wrist, the ropes a discarded pile inches away from them. The stranger was entirely too calm and even when he was pulled into the hold he didn't seem to be fazed at all. Even though he didn't react Kakashi was certain this person could have, he was almost positive, was a ninja. Most likely a good one. Black eyes regarded him with some amount of anger yet it was gone in a second as he closed his lids, hiding the bit of emotion he showed for the first time.

"You rile up easily too, what a delightful surprise." The jounin stiffened when black orbs opened back up to condescendingly tease him, just one eye was visible but it was enough to make Kakashi's body shiver, excited at the challenge, at the utter lack of fear, nothing but pure confidence of the smaller male trapped under him. Who was this person?

"Stop talking. I thought you came here to get fucked by me." It inflamed Kakashi's limitless sex drive that at his words the body once tense under him softened with the smallest sigh spilling out from the boy's plush lips. He hit a nerve with that one, it seemed while the brunette proceeded to act dominate he really wanted to be dominated. How lucky for Kakashi. The jounin removed his hands from their secure grasp over the young man's arms and slid back onto his knees behind the beautiful creature. It was almost like cat eyes watching him as the boy stayed where he laid but continued to observe the jounin's every move. Not just a cat, maybe a panther, those dark eyes were more than just curious, they were eyes of a **predator**. A dangerous and sexy one at that. Funny how not even the skimpy outfit of the boy's dress diluted that look.

He was still in the high heels even...

When the brunette thought to get up he got as far as turning his head away and on his knees before firm, rough hands gripped his hips, silently demanding he stop. Without words from Kakashi or protests from the boy those callous hands moved down to silken thighs then back up under the meager skirt. Only slightly stiffening then a small hiss was the response to the action, the older man decided to change that. Letting his fingertips glide over firm globes he lightly pressed over them only to 'accidentally' grazed the brunette's sac with the pad of his thumb. The reaction was instantaneous then as the boy's body bucked involuntarily, was the stranger really surprised enough to respond that way? He decided to experiment for answers.

"How pretty you look on your knees with your ass so high in the air." The young man's response was an a haughty grunt, like the baiting was heard but dismissed. He continued with firmer caresses squeezing the flesh under his palms before one hand trailed farther down so his nails grazed the hard length straining to stay covered wanting to break out of their confines. Once again the immediate reaction was the boy's hips to spasm, he moaned as his body discreetly arched. Like an animal being petted pleasurably. Kakashi decided he rather like the noises and reactions so he repeatedly teased and molested the stiff arousal relishing in the soft mewls and erratic hip thrusting. Somehow he seemed sure of his first guess after this.

But to be certain...

Removing his hands from fondling rather favorable places the jounin twisted his fingers into the side of the red devilish panties pulling the fabric down enough so it trapped the other man's knees from spreading too far. Once there he lifted the pleaded skirt and peered at the delicious feast set out for him. Even from just looking it seemed like his bed partner's breathing sped up three-fold as he let his eagerness take its hold over him. What a wonderful sight to see for Kakashi.

"You know for someone who taunts me over my lechery you look very whorish to me right now."

The stranger choose to ignore the taunting most likely because the person seemed shameless and indifferent enough not to mind the words. It was almost scary how easy it was to read the man but at the same time not knowing just what made him capable of going as far as needed. Near as Kakashi could tell this sexy brunette didn't have any sort of pride to stop him from dressing as a slutty female to seduce another man but it could be said that his pride was in having confidence to approach the jounin and perusing him without any sort of fear of refusal. Either this person was that confident of his skills or that he would **any **sort of methods to consort the grey hair male. Even illegal kinds.

Though staring at the quivering hole aching to be ravaged by him made the idea of refusal so far from an option it was pointless to think about it. He wasted enough time in thinking over it, he needed to do something about the willing, taunt, provocative body spread out before him.

"Have you lost your nerve?" Came a cool breathy voice from under him. It did not rattle him one bit.

"I'm debating just how long I should tease you first. You just added five more minutes to the total." His palms squeeze the hunk of meat under his fingers and pulled them apart. Once, he used his thumb to graze the opening that rightly twitch as he touched it. He heard a pause in the brunette's breathing before it went back to its irregular pattern. Kakashi stifled a laugh that fought to escape over the thoughts of all the delicious torture he could inflict on this sexy creature before him. Though it would look silly if he did, now was not the time for jokes. The copy cat ninja wasn't one to botch a important mission and what more imperative task than to see to it this handsome stranger walked away throughly satisfied?

"Ngh!" The older man was pleased with himself as well as amused the action. His tongue skimmed over the ring and was followed with loud surprised groan from the recipient. When he repeated the movement the younger man grunted, the entrance twitching before the jounin as he knew it would soon grow use to his ministrations and loosen up for, much larger objects. After letting his breath fan the slick area and make the brunette shiver in longing Kakashi pulled apart the firm globes farther so when his wet muscle touched the ring to trail over the hole more fully, saliva seeping into the flush body without intention.

Slightly shocking the gorgeous stranger didn't hide the sounds he made or try to stifle them, his limbs were obviously trembling from the simple caressing of Kakashi's tongue. The stranger was responsive to the point it was like his body had never felt such a way before. Very sexy indeed but the jounin wondered if his idle musings had any merit. That was until the willowy body arched and a husky deep groan from the depths of the graceful beast reached the jounin's ears and left his own cock heavy with desire.

After such, a small rumble of want left the copy cat ninja's lips and he was more earnestly lapping over the entrance. Digging and sliding his tongue barely into the cleft as he lapped at the hole like much savored treat. In a matter of seconds the body under his hands was pressing back to unvocally demand more. To this the hound summoner bit the man's bottom as a way of silencing the question with a 'No, I'm in charge here.' The hips stopped moving as a resounding hiss followed the bite. Kakashi was licking at the indent of teeth before he lazily went back to lavishing the puckered bud with attention as his hands squeezed and parted the soft flesh every few seconds.

It had been a long time since his last sexual encounter and he wanted to enjoy in throughly, besides the arrogant little brat had a lot of backtalk to make up for.

"Kakashi...ahh, it... its not enough ngh..." The sultry way to which the man bellowed his name the jounin couldn't help but reward with dipping his tongue into the orifice and sliding it slowly back out. A stuttered noise left the boy's lips as he broke down with a needy mewl as to communicate 'I need more.' Kakashi's lips, heavily soaked with his own saliva, formed a wicked smile. He pulled away slightly, face flush red from the heat, so when he spoke bursts of cool air hit the wet entrance.

"So now you're obedient when you want something." The older man's finger ghosted over the pinken crevice and pressed over the yielding ring so with the tiniest amount of pressure it would sink it. Though that was not what he wanted to do quite yet. If this dark hair creature wanted it he would very well submit to Kakashi's prowess. With the way the young man's fluids were dripping onto the plush carpet and the body before him shivered he had little doubt it would take long. A deep breath and sigh later the husky voice replied to him.

"I've been quite generous... and patient up until now. ..If I haven't proved haah how much I want it... would you like for me to be on top... of you?" Black eyes regarded him over an ivory shoulder as at every paused the boy took a breath but still even with the voice shaken with pent up desire he managed to sound direct and confident. He wasn't in the least trying to preserve his imagine or weak enough to break down and beg. The brunette simply **wanted** it and would take reasonable measures to get it. Like ride Kakashi's cock.

"Your nose is bleeding... is that normal?"

The jounin's hand reached to hide the slip up and wipe the fluid away.

"Natural reaction, never mind that."_ 'Fuck that was too much.' "_You really don't care what you have to do, do you?"

"Why should I? Letting needless hindrances like pride and ego can cost you a great more than what the price is to give it up. I have you in between my legs right now, that's a great deal more rewarding than using my hand because I don't want to beg." The silence between them lasted a while, longer than the boy really wanted with his erection that laid neglect through most of all this encounter but the other man seemed to have a deviated septum or high blood pressure, his nose seemed to be hemorrhaging a lot.

Kakashi managed to get his bleeding under control but not without some loss of hold on his self-restraint. He definitely needed to skip the rest of the foreplay, he would only torture himself in the long run. Gripping one slim hip he pulled it toward himself and slipped his tongue back in, only this time, without meager licks. His slick muscle slid in the heated orifice as he swirled it slowly, deliberately, before puling back out and repeating the action again. To this the brunette dropped his head and stopped straining his neck to look at Kakashi from behind. He released all the air in his lungs with a hiss.

Before was just simple teasing, now the jounin was fucking him with his mouth to get the area slick and wet with other intentions. Though it felt good on its on. Well more than just_ good _in his opinion.

Seconds later it wasn't the jounin's mouth in his body but something thinner, longer. _A finger. _Kakashi must have been getting impatient. Not that his minded, but the licking was nice.

"Why are you taking so long?"

"You'd rather I rush it and make it hurt? Not that you don't look like a masochist. You're awfully tight down here, your insides are squeezing my finger." The jounin wondered briefly when was the last time this man had sex. He was unusually tight but he **couldn't** be a virgin, not with this sort of attitude.

Sliding a second digit in there was no hiss or noise of any sort but the older man wouldn't be surprised if it was because the other was stifling it. So the boy did have a small stubborn streak. Twisting around feeling the silken walls first hand he sighed in longing. His length was hard and full again as it had been since he started fondling the sexy creature. Hell, just listening to the smug bastard talk was erection inducing. Not that Kakashi would admit out loud one of his sexual weakness' is being told what to do. Not so much like he wanted to be uke but he didn't like submissive lovers. He'd gladly roll over and let this man grab his hair, slap his hips and watch as the dark beauty rode him like a champion bred horse. He had to stop thinking like that or he'd pass out from blood loss.

It was when the jounin tried to press a third finger in when he realized it wouldn't work. The area wouldn't stretch out unless forced, he needed something to help.

"Hey rapist, do you come equipped with lube?" He received a dissatisfied grunt as his answer, but the man didn't argue with him. The boy reached out, his body stretching and arching in such a way that had the leaf nin putting himself in check as the younger man slipped his hand in a bag and threw over his shoulder a bottle. Black eyes full of lust with a hint of annoyance followed the action before they turned away and creamy legs were spreading farther of their owners accord. Breathing didn't come easy to Kakashi after watching that.

He was squeezing the baby oil all over his fingers so that half the bottle ended up on the floor. It wasn't his fault his hands were shaky and trembling with uncontrollable bouts of spasms. Placing his hands once more on the strangers body this time the boy didn't bother with just waiting for the older man to work at his own pace and pushed back the moment he felt fingers enter him again. The boy purposefully clenched his insides tightly before he pulled his hips away so they slipped back out. It was the jounin's turn to moan as it was an obvious indication the brunette wanted him to 'hurry the fuck up'. The man in a skirt continued to pushed himself back onto the fingers and didn't give the silver hair ninja a moments reprieve from tortuously watching his slender digits disappear into the supple bottom. By the time he slide the third one in the boy was lightly moaning bucking back more fluidly, his entrance already loosen and taking the extra protrusion with ease.

"Ahh!" The bucking stopped momentarily as the boy let out a pleasured cry. Painted fingers clenched and unclenched in the carpet they found purchase to dig into before hips wildly began to buck even with the older man no longer moving his fingers.

"Do that some more... do it again." A eager voice whined, though it wasn't quite begging, it was desperate. Kakashi had no choice but to pulled his hand out, despite the disagreeable hiss, to flip the willing body over and pull the dark hair man into his lap.

He was eye to eye with the sultry vixen their bodies flush together, one still clothed in whorish girl clothes, the other completely nude. It was while looking into memorizing black orbs that he couldn't help but kiss crimson red lips as he groped the man's firm backside. While feasting on the younger man's lips Kakashi lifted the wild creature up so he would slowly sink down and take in the silver hair man's hard sex. The mushroom tip slipped in and the occupied lips of the younger male made a muffled noised, pleased by the sensation. Once again the brunette showed his impatience ignoring the hard grip trying to control the pace as he forced himself down onto the length with disregard to whatever unpleasantness he would feel. It hit them both intensely in very different ways.

The dark hair male bit down on Kakashi's lips, thankfully for the jounin not his tongue, puncturing the flaps so that blood ran down his chin. This wasn't the boy's intention but he was unaware of just how much it would_ hurt _down there. He pulled his mouth away covered in the other's blood to moan in distraught. It ached something fierce but it was far from intolerable, just very unpleasant. Though he didn't notice he left claw marks on the older man's shoulders from the pain.

Kakashi however was far from feeling pain, even as it was inflicted on him by his wounded partner. The slick sheath encased and constricted his length, the silken walls squeezing every time the boy took a breath, tightening involuntarily to adjust to the firm hardness that invaded it. He groaned with near-orgasmic pleasure. Had the dark hair male moved over his shaft a few more times from the start the jounin had no doubt he would have came prematurely. It was hard to reframe from doing now with them just intimately joined together, not even moving.

The younger man released his death grip of the sharingan user's shoulders and only slightly made a pained whimper when the jounin eagerly lifted his hips up so the thick length began to retreat, which he partly wanted it to do in that moment, only to be slightly disappointed when the firm hands pushed his ass back down to take the girth once again. His muscles seized up and the ninja had to pause with the added pressure with a pleased sigh.

"If you don't relax your muscles, it'll hurt more." He spoke softly into the brunette's ear. Placing one hand at the small of his back Kakashi rubbed it in small circles tenderly coaxing the boy to obey while secretly just wanting the damn uppity brat to release the tension so he could get fucked properly. The bastard promised to ride him!

The other man was nothing but tenuous and truthfully felt foolish in hurrying up the sex only to falter when it got a little difficult. It's not like he had previous knowledge it would feel like that when someone put their cock up there. He shifted his legs and recieved encouraging noises from Kakashi from the movements and firmly planted his knees in a more comfortable position so when he moved his body upwards using the muscles in his thighs and his arms on his partner's shoulders it didn't feel quite as awkward.

The jounin was having trouble trying not to move as the boy descended onto his length again so he bit into his already injured lip and forced himself to stay put. Mismatched eyes watched the brunette before him, gorgeous orbs closed in concentration and parted flushed lips coated in his own blood. It made the leaf nin fail in his resolve to not move and his hips jerked towards the falling hips. The boy made an indistinguishable noise like he wasn't even sure if he liked it but continued on regardless.

The silver hair man looked to his lap having lost his restraint from staring at the sexy panther who did look like a beast with the blood on his mouth. Though it proved to be a mistake as he could see the erect leaking cock of the brunette poking out from under the scandalous skirt and a little bit more every time the boy raised his hips. Kakashi saw and experienced it all first hand.

Tightening his hold the jounin pulled him down, _hard_, not stilling as the body froze above him and forced him back up his arousal again. The young man's inner walls milked him wonderfully and he grunted as he did it again, yet this time the brunette wasn't idle and pressed back down with him releasing a cry that had the silver hair man choking on his own lust. The thought that he just struck the beauty's prostate passed his mind. He released the bruising grip he had on the younger man but it didn't decrease the friction from when the brunette lifted himself up and pounded back down again, in fact the man was showing an increase enthusiasm in it.

The black orbs of the stranger slipped open, glossed over and misty eye, as he rocked his hips over Kakashi's cock continuously increasing his pace every time so that in a matter of moments he was bouncing wildly and the once near silent man was moaning loudly, spouting obscenities every time the head of the other man's erection struck his sweet spot. It felt so good he couldn't think of anything else but speeding up his hips and adding more force to the descent.

In seconds the jounin was on his back and the scantily dressed boy had his hands balled in fists on his chest, having pushed the older man down so he could ride him more fluidly. The leaf nin was looking up with wide feverish eyes at the sensual creature who furiously mounted his cock and shouted out loudly exactly how it made him feel causing his arousal to swell and leak inside the willing body so that it seemed to make the movement easier.

It wouldn't be long before the erratic thrusting would be his undoing and Kakashi reached under the skimpy red skirt and gripped the stiff arousal that pulsed in his hand, coating is fingers almost immediately with the action. This caused the delicious hips to slow before they redouble their efforts and the dark hair boy was bucking wantonly, moaning like he wanted their neighbors to hear him.

The brunette loved the feel of it all, the thick veined shaft sliding over his inner walls, the head of the jounin's cock stabbing into his prostate deliciously, how it felt to have that sex slid in and out his body along the sensitive ring that welcomed it readily. If this is how if feel every time he could easily become a cock loving whore.

"Kakashi!" At the sudden shout of his name, like the brunette didn't even knowingly do it, the older man snapped his hips towards the downward thrust readying for what he knew to be the boy's impending release. Not a moment too soon because he couldn't hold back any more than he had, he wanted to come from near the start. Fisting the quivering length of the younger male he fiercely thrusted his hips up with a punishing force intending to strike his sensitive spot hard enough so the brunette would climax before he did.

Black orbs snapped open then closed almost as quickly as he came with a shout, pearly fluid coating the jounin's fingers, stomach and even the red skirt the boy still wore. The leaf nin pistioned his hips intent of fully riding out the crushing waves of slithery tissue contracting around his shaft, the warmth racing through his arousal, flashing up his spine and fraying his nerves as he came buried to the hilt inside the man. One moment his muscles tightened unnaturally like coiled metal then the next were as tough as liquid putty unusable and weak. He practically melted on the floor mindful of the weight on his chest but otherwise oblivious to it, lost in the bliss of euphoria. The heavy bundle on his chest shifted and he could feel cooling liquid slide down from the puddle on his stomach onto the carpet beneath him. The carnal beast resting on top of him peered through slitted sated eyes yet they held some deeper emotion, which was revealed in the next breath.

"Again." The jounin perked up staring wide eye at the dark vixen.

Kakashi didn't make it through that night without losing a few years of his life.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Leader was dumbfounded. Though not that he'd say that so much as puzzled or disconcerted. His loyal yet not so completely trustworthy subordinate had just handed over the necessary 'specime'n needed to fertilize the embryo and create a perfect soldierso he could usher a new age of ninja. (Though it was just meant to have better help.) He had completed the task, though not without a certain amount of displeasing images for the Akatsuki head, without incident. Yet that did not explain what the Uchiha handed over to him.

"Itachi, we needed one potent vial, why have you brought in eight?" A man off to the side in a white coat held the said vials, each the size of a standard perfume spray bottle, filled almost all the way with sperm. Getting the semen from various parts of his own body, trying not to put his own in there by mistake, without Kakashi noticing proved to be a difficult act. Gratefully sex did well to dull the usually heightened sense and the jounin didn't catch him stowing the vital liquid away.

The teenage criminal blankly stared at Leader as though he thought the answer obvious. He explained anyhow to appease the man.

"It is possible to lose or damage such delicate specimen. I concluded it would be best to extract extra while it was still possible in case the unlikely happened."

The dark figure continued to stare in silence just as the teen did in turn. There was a great heavy atmosphere for the duration that they held the eyes of one another. Itachi, completely at ease and unaffected by the silence. Leader non-expression as any decent ninja would be but inside revolted and somewhat of concern that maybe the defects of the 'mother' in question would carry over into the infant, rendering this whole experiment pointless and by far already losing merrit at having to suffer the unpleasant character flaws he was finding out in the older Uchiha. Not to mention he despised the satisfaction Itachi radiated like the sun at high noon in the dessert in summer. That was alot of radiation.

"Get on with it." Leader's image dispersed after a short eternity of waiting. With an inward shoulder shrug the missing-nin jumped from the large stony hand and walked from the eerie cave. Kisame and the unnamed medical nin followed behind him. He would need to return to the base before they could preform the surgery. There was no going back after that.

"Itachi, is this really something you want to do? I mean have a kid? You don't even like kids. Your brother's birthday gift was a village full of his family's corpses." Needless to say while Kisame's words had logic he was indeed only looking to prevent his 'beloved' from having someone else's baby. He cried his eyes purple that night after the brunette left with the leaf ninja. It wasn't red because it mixed with the blue of his skin.

Itachi's answer was silence as he was already firm in his decision and had no second thoughts about what was to occur next. He wasn't** that** bad to Sasuke. If the boy only had a backbone and quit crying for his dead mommy he'd see the bigger picture in life that his existence didn't matter, just his actions towards a higher goal to reach for.

The three set off together each with their separate thoughts on the matter, one preparing himself for the future, one trying to hold himself together under the stressful time, and the third hating his job and that he had to carry over a pound of splooge to be inserted in a deranged crazed killer who seemed oddly cheerful in a bland, psychotic, silent sort of way.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Kakashi, you're walking funny." Izumo had watched the silver hair man return to the village after his 'mission' to retrieve 'vital information'. How the copy ninja thought porn to be imperative to live he and everyone else in this village would never understand.

The older man paused turning his head to look at the pair of men who were never without the other. I was weird to the point like they were Siamese twins. Or just always together on the off chance they could find the time to have a quickie in the middle of working. That he could understand.

"Oh? Well I stubbed my toe on a big cat, it hurts to walk on it." The jounin smiled and walked away not even caring his company didn't believe his answer in the least. Ninjas have been known to have broken ankles and still they'd run like there was nothing to it. How little did they know that the lie the older man told was merely a distortion of the truth. Replace the word stubbed with stuck, toe with penis, in instead on and big cat with sexy panther, you would have the honest reply. Though it was too far to grasp for most.

After waking up, alive though a little worse for wear, in the empty hotel room the next afternoon Kakashi had spent all day trying to figure out who exactly that boy was, and while afraid, almost hopeful in seeing him again. Stopping his feet to a halt a realization dawned onto him just who that guy was.

_'The best fuck of my life.'_ It was a little disappointing he never even got his name.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

For you nit-picky people I explain exactly why Kakashi doesn't know it was Itachi in the next chapter, aside from the fact I found it funny as fuck. This was by far the longest chapter I did for either story yet, the second being the second chapter of this story (awkward sentence). Fox eat Dog doesn't get nearly as many words! Speaking of which have you've read that yet? No?! Why not?!?!?! I work oh so hard on it too. I need giving nice people like yourselves to keep me writing, or else I'd go to school and try to make something of myself in life. You don't want that now do you? Review!


	4. Chapter 4

What to say? I sort of ignore alot of events in the manga to piece this together. Not that most readers even read the comic and besides, I don't spoil the story for everyone if I do. Though it makes the story inaccurate are you even reading it for the articulate, perceptive writing or because it's stupid funny? Just how many people are reading his anyway? Twenty?

Curse you KakashixIruka fans, Kakashi and Itachi are MEANT to be together! One of these days I'll have to do a serious story to prove it...

_**Undesired Consentual Enslavement**_

**Four Months Later**

"He isn't here."

"No, he isn't."

"He is not here yet..."

"Yes, not yet..."

"HE hasn't shown UP!"

"Hokage-sama please!" Shizune rushed to tuck away the important and treasured pieces of paper that the woman seemed to value over lives. The sake Tsunadae slammed on the table split out the cup and tiny droplets fell onto the precious papers. The woman had to dive all over them just to shield the vunerable paper.

The brunette cursed the day Kakashi was ever born, he needed to report to the Hokage twenty minutes ago for a very important mission but even after being alerted and having one of the chuunin track him down to give him the message the jounin decided to take a detour. Where she did not know but for the sake of the mission, money and documents he better get here soon or all would be lost!

"Yo! Sorry for the late arrival, a woman was trapped in a tower and I had to climb up her long hair..."

"Kakashi you are dead!" Perched on the windowsill of the Hokage Tower the silver hair man gave a small wave in greeting only to be cut off his tale by one angry drunk pointing her finger at him fuming in rage. At least pointing her finger in his general direction as it was more off to the side of his shoulder then himself. She hit the bottle a little too much in his absence. Oh boy.

"Hokage-sama, the cilent!" Shizune did her level best to keep the blond from tearing out of her seat in rage. Across from them a older man in rich clothes and a tad bit of grey in his dark brown hair was watching the performance from the beginning. He was afterall the reason for the summons to start with. He did not look amused. Tsunadae settled down and placed her hands over eachother on her desk sitting up as straight as her drunken state would allow her. She was proud of herself for pulling it off so well, if only the room wasn't so crooked.

Kakashi slid into the room, he avoided getting to close to the women given him evil looks, and stood next to the less angry looking man.

"Now that you've seen fit to join us..." She began in an angry hiss. "This man, Lord Deekin Rekan, as requested you on his journey to the southern lands and wants you as part of his personal guard. This is a long mission so you'll be gone for, what was it again?"

"Half a year, if there is no delays. My nemesis in business thought to hire help from Rain country and not many have had encounters with them in a while, but you were in the war yes? I hear a great many things even from Wave country about the elite ninja Hatake Ka-..."

Silence engulf the room as the old man stop speaking at the sight of a familiar green book coming into view. As Deekin read such a book it caused a blush to taint his cheeks as the ninja read the same thing right in front of them. The jounin dodged a shuriken thrown his way and put the book back.

"Excuse me, you were saying about Rain?" Three pairs of eyes focused on the ninja and none looked pleased.

"My apologies sir but Kakashi is one of our best ninjas, he will not disappoint you, it would be worse than losing his life." A hard stare was thrown his way with a obvious threat. _'This is alot of money, screw up and die.' _

"Nothing has changed, I want this man and if it's enough I would like to leave now." There was a terse hint of strain in his throat like it hurt to say but the demand was obvious, he wanted to get out now or change his mind.

"Sure, I need to prepare a few things before I go..." Kakashi blandly responded, annoyed he'd have to leave without porior notice, he wanted to spend his day with just him and his one true love...

Make-Out Violence.

"No need we prepared everything you need right here." As the female Hokage spoke, Shizune threw a bag at the jounin that he deftly caught in one hand staring at what appeared to be 'his' mission bag and the stuff inside also his own.

"Show up on time next time and maybe we won't send Naruto to pick up all your stuff."

"He forgot my rubber duckie." Kakashi pouted and the greying man next to him looked besotted, the old woman had a vein popping out over her left eye.

"Look in the side pocket."

"Oh." There was a slight squeak before he tucked the found treasure back into its hiding place.

"Go, just leave..."

Having no means to object Kakashi sighed and slugged the backpack over his shoulder and walked past the old man resigning himself to his fate and terribly long, _boring_ mission. He hoped they'd at least have book shops on the way.

"And Kakashi." The blond started, halting the jounin's progress.

"Don't. Fail." Maybe it was the trick of the light or a odd freak occurance but the ninja swore he saw a crackle of fire in her eyes. He nodded once and rushed out of the room. If that was a chakra surge he didn't want to be the one to tick her off. Not after he just sold her panties off to Jaraiya for his reading fix. It's a good thing he'd be on this mission should she go home and discover her underwear all gone.

Maybe it wasn't so bad afterall.

**oxoxoxoxoxThat HE knew! Dah Dah Daaaaaaaaaaah!xoxoxoxoxo**

"The rest of my help is waiting along your border as their presence I found innappropriate in entering Konoha... Kakashi-san please put the book down and pay attention..."

"Mmm? Oh."

"Now the situation is as stated; you will be with us for no less than six months should everything go smoothly but its not my life I'm assigning you to guard, there is a special member among my numbers who needs protecting... Kakashi-san put that book away!" The man paused and screamed growing irritated over being ignored. The jounin looked back at him, annoyed, and rolled his eyes placing the novel back in his pouch. It wasn't his fault the older man's ramblings were boring him to tears, if not for the book he would have fell asleep hours ago when they left Konoha.

The jounin was feeling especially rebellious today and he felt no amount of money could keep him from walking right back home. It was odd since Tsunade always utilized his talents in short, dangerous missions of the hightest grade. The amount of currency he took in with a month's worth of missions could never equal to what one long mission could, she'd never agreed to it before. What did the man offer (or blackmail) her with so that she would allow her top dog on this banal quest?

He didn't have time enough to ponder the answer or even drawl it out of his 'client' before he felt an attack approaching. Several of them in fact, **powerful ones**, _what was this_?! His company didn't seem worried, in fact he looked around almost expecting the arrival. His brigade that he spoke of? Kakashi released some of the tension from his body but couldn't relax, there was something ominious about the air that he couldn't fully trust to let down his guard. As the people drew nearer the hairs on his body stood on end and his fists tighten.

"Good Moriheshi, you brought him." The voice and face went unregonized but the black robe and blood red clouds were more than familar. Terrifying was the word.

_'A set up!'_

"Of course Sasori-san though I'm truely doubtful this man lives up to his reputation." The old man gave a respectful bow and only slightly diverted his eyes in the Konoha jounin's general direction the said jounin wanted to step out and slice his throat clean open for his impudence but if he moved one of the surrounding ninjas would too. There was too many of them, in fact, he could see three in front of him but he could sense more behind him. Their chakras erratic and bleeding together in such a way that he couldn't tell if it was two or twenty. Though one Akatsuki member was enough to be a danger to even a village leader, against five the mere jounin stood no chance. He was surprised he wasn't dead yet.

_'Damned if I'm going to die easy!'_

"Kakashi, don't be so quick to raise your fighting spirit, we need you alive. You are dimissed." The red head started with addressing Kakashi but directed his last words to the old man who was actually a small time slum lord under their order. The man appeared angry at the indifferent dissmisal but left quickly with his tail between his legs anyway. Being surrounding by extremely dangerous ninjas like that did put the fear of god into you.

"Really Kakashi if we wanted you dead you wouldn't be standing right now."

"You'd try." The jounin hissed out. The red head didn't look amused but a taller man with grey slicked back hair chuckled.

"At least the dog has some bark."

"He is pathetic really, a little puppy like that should stay quiet and see what Sasori-sama has to say to him uh." A blond looking woman? by the named Sasori's side said, crossing her arms and given a pout. The konoha ninja wanted to choke the bitch he settled for giving her a death glare worthy of an Uchiha.

"There is a special task, a mission really that we need you to take on for us."

"There is nothing in this world that would make me do anything for you, don't waste your breath." Just as soon as the words left Sasori's mouth Kakashi was refuting them. He was loyal to his village, it would be of the highest disgrace to even give one of their members a tissue to blow their nose with. The red head looked bored and aggitated but continued.

"Shut up and listen, there is a special reason why all of us came out today to get you, should you refuse everyone of us plans to assult Konoha and kill everyone in it." There was a long pause of silence after that, a very long pause, very extremely falling asleep long pause.

"Well you got me there. What do you want?" Kakashi answered stratching his head. His reply in return was also a long stretch of silence, not quite as long but lenghty none the less.

"Well want are you waiting for idiot, tell him." The grey hair member of Akatsuki pressured. Sasori made some sort of noise but didn't say anything more after that. Why was this problem anyway? Why was he the one elected to do this? It was crazy to begin with and after all the years of building up his cool demented villainous evil apperance he had to destory it all by saying some unbelievable and frankly _dumb shit_.

"You tell him." And just like that the red head turned around and walked behind the other two standing next to him. There was a collective of sweaty foreheads and Kakashi couldn't be anymore confused.

"There is no fucking way I'm telling him and quite frankly this has shit to do with me I'm just here as ordered." The foul-mouth Akatsuki member crossed his arms over his slightly exposed chest apparently nude under the cloak. A glare was his response from the red headed former sand ninja.

"Hidan silence your trash-mouth this is wasting time and time is money. Look leaf ninja Itachi is pregnant and it's your job to guard him." Just like that a man in a black mask with a white scarf over his head and strange eyes behind Kakashi spoke. The leaf jounin turned to look at him as well as three other Akatsuki members flanked at his left and right. A blue hair woman, a orange masked ninja and a strange plant looking thing. He gave them all pointed looks before he started chuckling, the chuckles turned to laughter which soon had given him trouble to stay up on his feet. No one else shared in his joke though the strange orange masked person did start to giggle.

"Tobi stop that! Listen you leaf bastard Itachi's pregnant and it's all your fault so stop laughing uh!" The blond man/woman yelled out waving an arm around in rage, Kakashi's cackles only grew.

"Ha Ha! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! You guys are nuts! Ha ha ha HA!" The jounin did fall over onto his back kicking his legs out and holding his sides as they hurt from the exsertion. Honestly he supposed he should be frighten at the implication that only demented people would suggest such a thing and you should always answer 'okay' to a crazy person but the idea was so far from bizarre it was hilarious!

"This is stupid! We should just tie him up and take him with us he isn't listening UH!" A frustarted blond started waving her/his arms up in the air.

"We need him compliant as it could upset Itachi if he isn't and you know what that would mean." The red head said spoken in a low tone but everyone heard and looked pensive, an almost pained expression crossing their faces Kakashi's laughter began to die down. He sat up and wiped his teary eyes.

"That Uchiha bastard... it's not too late to kill him and be done with it."

"Hidan you tried that already, almost everday for the past two months in fact, how many more times are you going to have to die before you give up?" Sasori replied to the angry looking grey hair criminal ninja, he got a scoff and 'Fuck you' in turn. "We can't kill him, we can't satisfy him, leader refuses to give him many missions so the fetus doesn't come to any harm, we don't have alot of options." All the black cloaks looked at Kakashi and suddenly the jounin didn't feel like laughing anymore. In fact he was beginning to get more frightened then he was before.

"Itachi is a man, he can't get pregnant." The hound summoner said, almost as if to remind himself so his thoughts don't begin to accept their words as real.

"Yeah well advances in science are something to behold." Sasori added off handedly.

"And rather stupid, why would you need a man to give birth? Thats what women are for uh." The blond gave his/her opinion. The jounin was growing very uncomfortable with the turn of events. What kind of evil trickery was this? Like some kind of odd twisted nightmare.

"Even if what you say is possible why are you bothering with me with this? It has nothing to do with me."

"Wrong it has everything to do with you. It's actually all your fault." The red head stated.

"Bullshit! You can't make babies without sex! How else did you get my sperm? Hide in my bedroom until I left and took it from used tissues?! Ewww you didn't do that did you?" Because for Kakashi that would be reason enough to turn around and run back to the village and damn the consquences. Cum-stealing from his waste basket was just too disgusting a crime. A couple of the organization members shifted uncomfortably one of the braver, cruder, ones spoke out.

"This job doesn't pay enough to get me to do anything that nasty, you did it yourself dumbass about four months ago. He didn't even make it hard for you to regonize. A Black hair, black eye man in a skirt with a subdued bastardly personaility and absolutely zero tact, your the fuck-tard for not realizing it from the start." Hidan said ignoring the distress of the jounin coming to a daunting conclusion.

_'This is not happening!'_

"No..." The man denyed but he recieved no assurance.

"Yes. Honestly we haven't got all day for you to fight with us. Like or not Itachi IS pregnant and not a very nice. He is becoming a liablity and we haven't the time and resources to deal with him. He is killing too many of our own people for the dumbest of reasons and if provoked he will attack _us_. It will be your job to keep him on leash, we want no more of our subordinates dead, we can't keep hiring help only for him to kill them because they don't know how to answer his questions right."

"Why? Why me?" Kakashi asked, voice small and broken. He was answered with some more uncomfortable silence that not even Hidan would answer.

"It just has to be you, all you have to do is sit on him for the next few months. We will even pay you and your village to aviod suspision. When all this is done you go home and we go back to plotting your destruction." Sasori finished.

"I just can't... it can't be true." Kakashi hung his head trying to wrap his mind around the idea that he got _Uchiha Itachi_ **pregnant**, out of all the people he thought he'd have illigitimate children with that particular person wasn't one of them. He never even thought he see the man naked. _Oh god! _He saw Itachi **naked**! He even touched him! Alot! How many times did he fuck him that night? Six? Seven? His cock was in Uchiha Itachi's mouth! Oh fuck! It was in his **ass**! That big plump cock greedy ass! He moaned and cried out his name, the demanding, the panting, the outright seducing. The jounin brain shut down for a moment and blood leaked from his nose at the memory and realization. Suddenly that unnamed magnificent fuck wasn't so unnamed, it was Itachi. Clan slaying, brother torturing, dangerous missing nin Uchiha Itachi!

"He never tried to hide his identity and you saw him in his entirety. Really how did you over look the fact you were sleeping with Uchiha Itachi?" Sasori wasn't asking the question so much as he was insulting the jounin. He might not have been there but he had stetchy details of the situation, the jounin had even met him prior to that night when the former leaf ninja almost killed him. He should have known from the start.

"Think about what you said and ask yourself, did you every really think it possible for sex and Itachi to go into he same statement without the words '_would never have'_? Of course I didn't know! He tried to kill me! He **killed** his family! Why the fuck would a enemy of myself, my **village**, be in a bar in the middle of nowhere in a schoolgirl outfit and flirting with me with the intent as to fuck me?! Would **you** consider that possible?!" The jounin yelled clawing at his hair with the thought of it before growling and throwing his hands back in his lap.

"You know, he sort of has a point. To be honest I wondered if Itachi even had a penis uh." Deidara mused allowed his/her eyes drifting off as he/she/it thought over it. The blond recieved a few strange looks for the statment.

"Hey its okay Mr. Leaf ninja. Itachi-san isn't such a bad person and he is really sad right now. We need you to cheer him up so he doesn't hurt anybody anymore!" The strange orange masked ninja came over and tried to comfort the leaf jounin, not touching but kneeling close, trying to make his voice light and soothing. Deidara came over and knocked the ninja over the forehead.

"What are you doing you idiot! Shut up and stay to the side!"

"Itachi? Sad? Is that even possible? What about you guys? Asking a_ lowly leaf jounin _like myself? Why would ninjas like you need me to handle one of your own? Can't you even handle one pregnant murderer?" How odd that sounded for Kakashi say, like he actually believed it. Itachi, **pregnant**, hewas the **daddy**. He felt ill suddenly.

"You say that like its some small thing. Have you've ever seen Itachi cry? Ever? Have you ever thought it was even possible?! For fucks sake for the first month he didn't even have natural tears, he was crying his own blood! Ever seen a man crying blood tears while he killed a room full of people serving lunch just because they didn't have chocolate pudding?!" Hidan screamed out this time. He'd be the last to admit it but even though he was immortal he was afraid of the teenager. It was a bitch to get killed all the time but he'd never let anyone know he was scared, which meant alot of painful dying. Itachi took both his legs and left arm last time...

Kakahsi couldn't say he had. This was all becoming all too real in some sick demented way. Blood-crying, sex vixen, human butcher, pregnant Uchiha Itachi. _'They want me to be some kind of care-taker.'_

"No way! I can't babysit him! How in the hell do you expect me to tame him?! It's impossible how do you even think I could!" He stood up clenching his fists and screaming out enough to rattle the critters in the area. There was no way he could handle this, impossible!

"You don't have a choice, you might be the only person he'll not kill under the circumstances. He chose **you** to be the father and that has to mean something. Do whatever it takes to make him happy, whatever he wants. Succeed and live, fail and we will annihilate Konoha. These are your choices." It was out there, it was final. He couldn't accept.

"No, I can't."

"Sasori, he isn't suppose to say no, Kakuzu you said this would fucking work!" The sliver hair S-rank crimminal yelled to his mostly silent partner, the black masked man behind Kakashi.

"Shut up. Kakashi, you realize what this means don't you? Death to everyone, we'll take out the sannins first, if Jaraiya dies, **no more Icha Icha novels**." There is was, the trump card, even Akatsuki knew of the ninja's greatest weakness and the jounin stilled frozen to the spot.

"No you can't do that!" He whirled around yelling in horror at the masked ninja. No more porn, that was worse than death, it was like, the worst kind of death times a million!

"We can and will, tell me Kakashi what do you say now?" The jounin stilled looking aroudn to all their expected faces scearching for mercy finding none and one ninja named Tobi faced down in the dirt with Deidara's foot on his head.

"Well?"

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Small meek noises reverberated off of tall sturdy unforgiven trees. The sound of someone in tears reached the ears of the approaching person. They walked slowly but without hiding the sound of his approach. Sneaking up on Uchiha Itachi could mean certain death and would if he wasn't careful.

"Itachi?" The crying died to sniffles as the brunette silence them enough to hear what the voice would have to say.

"Itachi, I brought you some chocolate milk, I know how much you like it, would you like some now?" Kisame inched closer to the ninja and when a small slender hand reached out the mist ninja instantly handed over a bottle of the liquid. Through his tears the missing leaf nin slowly drank the substance taking care not to choke on it with his throat so constricted, they both felt the approaching footsteps and Kisame slightly moved forward almost acting as a shield even as he felt who was coming.

"Kisame, we brought him." Sasori said slightly out off in the distance, the blue skinned shark ninja might not mind being near the other ninja but he sure wasn't taking any chances getting too close. Hidan behind Kakashi shoved him in the shoulder pushing him past the group and too the front line so to speak. The leaf ninja stumbled and shot a glare over his shoulder. This was it, to say he was scared was an understatment, there wasn't a word for the feeling. He could hear the tears as he approached and the conversation. This was Uchiha Itachi, mentally unstabled pregnant Itachi. A fact he was beginning to believe.

"Whatever you do, if he asks you if he looks fat, don't say yes." Sasori warned spoken low enough so that the ninja in question would not hear. Everyone watched as the leaf ninja moved taking small steps towards what seemed to be his impending doom with a chant in his head saying. _'Pregnant Itachi. Pregnant Itachi. Pregnant Itachi. You're the daddy!' _

The shark ninja gave him a most distasteful, hateful glare he ignored merely because it was nowhere near something he could be concerned about, not while watching the back of Itachi's shoulders shake with muffled sniffles reaching his ears. _'He really was crying.' _

"I-Itachi?" His voice shook but he wasn't sure what to do or say. What he really wanted to do was run and get the hell out of here. This was crazy, sudicial. _'You've just been sold into slavery for a dangerous criminal mastermind who drinks chocolate milk and cries, oh yeah he killed his whole clan!'_

Slowly, like a horror movie with everything stilled to a crawl Itachi turned his head. At first nothing visible through his long hair in a messy ponytail, then Kakashi caught a glimpse of his face the black lines under his eyes marred by tear streaks and red rimmed eyes. _'Oh fuck.'_ Kakashi's heart was pounding in his ears and he couldn't move, he couldn't even think to try. Sitting before him the pair of red sharingan eyes were full of tears almost glistening full of emotion and saddness. Even his nose was leaking from snot and pink all over, most likely from blowing it, there was a pile of tissues right in front of him. The leaf jounin was frightened more now than he was before.

He acually felt pity for Itachi.

"It was a really bad idea to... to agree to _this_." The Uchiha said fully aware if not somewhat trying to control his erractic emotions. A battle he wasn't particulary winning. He lifted up his cup and started drinking his milk and Kakashi did the only thing he could think to do.

He started running.

The chase was over before it started as three Akastuki members grabbed him by his arms and legs.

"Let me go! Let me go! I changed my mind I can't do this!" He struggled as they held him down and Hidan thought it a good idea to calm the man down by punching him in the gut and knocking the wind out of him. It prove to be a big mistake as seconds later his head with rolling on the ground severed from his form. As Kakashi coughed to catch his breath and moments later he lifted his head to look into the eyes of one decapitated ninja. Suddenly he didn't have the urge to breath anymore.

Deidara and Sasori, who had helped restrain the dog tamer's departure, stepped away from the leaf ninja and Itachi who held out his blood stain blade not wanting to follow in his footsteps. The sliver hair ninja looked up from his prone position to the Uchiha, his sword a little too near Kakashi's body to make him comfortable. The man could understand the other members fear of Itachi.

The man was still crying while covered in blood.

Itachi dropped his blade and sat down, ignoring the head corpse near his position and stared at Kakashi before looking down to his lap and tried to will away the tears. The Uchiha never looked so human before. So small and vunerable, forget the he just kill one of his own a second ago and ignore the blood trickling down his face and you'd think he was just a sad child lonely and hurt.

Maybe it was a moment of idiocy, maybe compassion or sense of obligation but the jounin had a lapse in judement as he crawled over and sat in front of the teen. He placed his hand tentively on a slender shoulder before his chest was met with a face full of Itachi's head. The Uchiha buried his face into the crook of his neck and _cuddled _his form wrapping his slender arms tightly with more strength than you'd think he was capable of.

The man would have shit himself if his body wasn't so tightly clenched _everywhere._ This deadly killer could end his life in a second and was clinging to him like treasured teddy bear. He looked up with pleading eyes at the other ninjas around him.

"Well seeing as how things are fine here we'll go on ahead. Zetsu, Kisame, Tobi and that woman over there who's name eludes me can stay behind to make sure you make it to headquarters fine." Sasori said as he retreated

"My name is Konan!" The blue hair female stated.

"Kakuzu you going to collect your partner and come with us?" She was promptly dimissed and completely ignored by the man as he adressed the masked ninja.

"Fuck, hurry up and get me this hurts like a bitch!" Hidan whined just a face with no body. This would have weirded Kakashi out if he wasn't currently peering bug-eye at the clan killer crying in his arms.

"You know better than to upset Itachi you dolt." The man said walking over and picking up Hidan's head and placing it back on his body, walking away without even waiting for him to recover.

"This is going to be a long six months uh." Deidara followed after the sand ninja their forms disappearing quickly with unsaid relief at no longer burdened with Itachi, no that was Kakashi's problem now. Hidan didn't even wait until his neck was fully healed again before taking off, a hateful glare sent the teen's way before his departure.

Now left with a fish creature, a plant man, some random female and a weird orange mask guy Kakashi couldn't have felt more out of place in temple for celibate monks. Tobi edged near him holding out Itachi's half finished cup of chocolate milk.

"Itachi-san... could have the rest?" He asked, the jounin wasn't sure if he should laugh or inch away farther. Itachi nodded his head though he didn't move it from Kakashi's body. Tobi cheered and finished the milk happily.

Kisame looked on jealousy at the leaf ninja deciding he wasn't going to watch months of this. Itachi never wanted hugs form him. _Ever._ Even when the shark offered all he recieved in reply was a death threat. This was the last straw.

**Kakashi must die.**

_'My life is over.'_ The jounin sighed aloud staring up at the sky praying that some god somewhere would show mercy and strike him down with a lighting bolt.

The god's decided that watching him get tortured was much more fun to see.

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

It was over half a day later that they walked into a nearby town. Usually such a place took Kakashi six hours to get to, it took them almost thirteen for one reason. That reason was cingling to his chest in that moment. Itachi refused to let the jounin go and after knocking Tobi threw ten strong trees and throwing Kisame's face into the ground they gave up trying to convince the pregnant ninja to let the leaf jounin go and Kakashi ended up carting him on his front side the whole way. Itachi wasn't by any means heavy, no more in weight than an average grown woman. After the first three hours in running with him he seemed to gain in weight until now, he felt like a half ton brick. The masked ninja's back hurt, **alot**.

"I'll be outside the perimeter." Just like that Zetsu, the swamp thing Kakashi dubbed him, disappeared. It was a good move seeing how Kisame drew enough attention to them looking like Jaws on land even in the dark of night. Though the tingling feeling the jounin got in the back of his neck told him where all the attention was focused. Sure enough he looked around to notice subtle glances to full out stares from the town's 'night crawlers', thugs and thieves that roamed the streets after dark. He sighed placing his hand on Itachi's thighs (ignoring the wierd feeling that thought brought to him) and joslted him around a bit to try and take the weight off his aching back. He was too old for this.

"Itachi we are here, want to get down and walk around?" _**'Please**__ let me fucking go!'_ For a while there was nothing but when Itachi's feet touched the ground Kakashi released a big puff of air in relief. Once the teen pulled away the leaf ninja stretch out his arms and bent backwards only to hear his back crack.

That hurt.

"We should find a place to stay for the night." The shark man broke the silence happy that the foolish leaf bitch was no longer holding **his** Itachi. The brunette's face cleared up of most the redness too and the look in his eyes were back to that of a lifeless dolls. He must be back to normal, for a time.

"Yo move flower patch I want some sleep." Kisame thought to comment to the leaf ninja but Kakashi hadn't moved an inch since he cracked his back.

"...I'm stuck." Was all he thought to say. To this the blue skin man let out a roar of laughter at the expense of the jounin's prediciment.

"Ha ha hee hee hee, you stupid tree hugger. What are you? A hundred?" It was strange to hear the blue abomination giggle but it made the jounin furious. He was not built to carry a hundred and sixty pound man like a baby! When he got out of this he'd kick the fucker in his deformed colored testicles. In moments Itachi was standing at his back and the leaf ninja had an awkward upside down view of him.

"This will hurt." Was all the warning he got before his neck was gripped in one hand and pushed forward to be caught at the stomach by his other. To say it would hurt was an understatement.

It felt like someone took rusty cleaver to his back and cut down along his spine.

He let out a grunt and hiss but would allow no more to past his lips than that. His eyes were clenched tight and he had his hands to hold him up by placing them on his knees. The Akatsuki member didn't let him go but started rubbing his back and placing pressure at some painful points. It was like rubbing lemon and salt on a infection sword wound yet the jounin couldn't even smack his hands away without moving and aggravating it worse.

Then, just like that, it was gone. He stood back up fast enough that if Itachi didn't have quick reflexes he would have smacked him in the face.

"What the hell was that?" Kakashi rubbed his back, the pain gone like it was never there. Itachi made some sort of noise and brushed past him Kisame quick to follow at his heels.

"Itachi-san's mood swings happen often, but it's good your here or he would have been crying for hours!" The orange mask ninja declared behind him. Tobi as it was, seemed very odd, unlike the other quiet killing machines. To say he was a happy pleasent person to be around was saying too much, he could be one of those mutiple personality psychos. In fact, Kakashi was counting on it. At least one of his personas was cheerful. He'd have to be careful not to trigger any others.

"So that happens often?" Might as well find out what he can.

"Well Tobi isn't always around but Tobi hears about four times a week. Itachi-san also gets angry often too, but he also feels guilty and tries to make up for it once and a while. Deidara-sempai says its the hormones in him talking. Is that like having another voice in your head Kakashi-san?" The honorific was odd for the jounin to near but dismissed it. So the Uchiha prodigy had alot of ups and downs. They were bad enough for Akatsuki to warrant his help, how they expected him to he had no idea. Only that Tobi noted hugging Itachi stopped the crying. _Oh god_.

He had become a **babysitter** afterall.

"Come on Kakashi-san we must not fall behind!" Just like that the other ninja gripped him by the wrist and started tugging him along after the others.

The woman with blue hair went ignored behind them.

"What is it with you men?!"

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

An hour later soaking in a hot tub Kakashi relaxed completely. After being permissibly forced into servitude by the most dangerous ninja criminal organzation around suddenly fearing death wasn't something he was currently worried about. He wondered if the Hokage knew anything of this, it wasn't like any sort of traditional mission she had sent him on. On the off chance that Akatsuki threathen her and agreed to sell Kakashi off into slavery at the expense of the village seemed pausible but why hide the details? It was just as likely all the finer points were hidden from her only that the bargain for his extended services must have been great. If only that boosted his ego.

It didn't.

Escaping wasn't an option, not really, not with certain repercussion's, but he also didn't believe they would really let him waltz out at the end of this either. That was too clean and easy. Perhaps there would be a way to establish contact or a spy network in Akatsuki's domain while he was there. Jaraiya spoke of trailing the organzation himself, maybe Kakashi could find a way to reach him.

"Mind if I join you?" Kakashi whipped his head upwards not hearing the footsteps approach, it wasn't because he was too lax to hear it, the other man wanted that way. From his position seated at the edge of the tub Kakashi found that was a very bad idea to be there, to have had look right up at that movement in time with the man standing right over top him.

Itachi was naked as the day he was born.

"Eh?!" Kakashi jumped away falling back into the water. When he rose again to the surface it appeared Itachi found his reaction amusing, if that cocky little half smirk was anything to go by.

_'It was really him.'_

It was one thing to be told so, to even go through the exprience, but though the teen was in a skirt at the Kakashi regonized those legs, that cock, the little consending smirk. Dark hair let loose of its pony tail faling over his shoulder's, hsi build slender yet firm his hairless chest showing the years of work his put into being a top-notch killer. Though that thought didn't quite garner the disgusted feeling it should. Nothing about seeing the teen appeared appalling at all, especially not all that white unscarred cream colored skin.

Or the little tell-tale bugle forming over his stomach.

_'I fucked Itachi!'_ That little fact had his brian struggling to understand. The brunette gave up on waiting for the other to answer and slipped into the unabashed at his nudity. All the jounin wore under the water's surface was a skimpy towel, he was sure to keep everything but his head under water. It wasn't that he was normally shy but the circumstances was something to cause him panic.

Seeing Itachi completely nude was a turn on.

"You're rather coy, a little late for that don't you think?" The Uchiha said. Kakashi made a point not to look anywhere but the teen's face, when his eyes didn't obey him he decided to stare at his abandoned mask and headband right over the other's shoulder. He really wished he didn't take those off right about now.

Kakashi thought the other would grow tired of his silence, sit back and relax but instead the boy stared at him the whole time. His eyes a clear sheen of black at not having his sharingan activated, a first he had seen in months. _'He hid at least one detail that night.'_

In thinking about it there was alot he didn't hide. _'Would you like for me to be on top of you?'_ Kakashi didn't dismiss that thought fast enough, he knew because the look on his face when he thought it made Itachi smirk at him.

_'He knows what I'm thinking about!'_

"Are you really so afraid now you have figured out who I am? Really Kakashi-san, I'm disappionted in you."

"Fear isn't the word I'd use. Repulsed perhaps is what your looking for."

"Aroused is what I see from you."

"..." _'Damn he caught that.'_ That would mean... "You're staring at my crotch!"

"Hn." Was his only answer. The jounin hated the calm look on his face right in that moment. How dare he, coming in here so nonchalant, comepletely nude, it didn't help he looked sexy wet. _'Shit.' _

"What do you want Itachi? Does part of my sentence serve to have you attach to my hip the whole time?" The look he recieved after that was so cunning it was downright naughty.

"Attached by the hips yes." Kakashi's jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide. Itachi was flirting with him! No it wasn't subtle enough to be called flirting. _'You are to appease Itachi by any means necessary.'_ Sasori's words seem to ring throughout his head.

He wasn't just sold into slavery, he was meant to be Itachi's whore!

Their elluding his questions suddenly made sense, as did why they were looking to him 'satisfy Itachi'. He did it once before afterall and the look he was getting right then was like the teen was a hungry lion and he was dinner. Was he really suppose to have sex with the teen? Wasn't that violating some code somewhere? Why the hell were Itachi's teammates setting this up in the first place?!

"I'm not going to do no such thing no way!" He protested standing up in the water his fist clenched with intent. It seems Itachi had no interest in decloration as he was staring at the water's surface or more aptly Kakashi's groin. It was then the jounin noticed his towel floating away. _'Whoops.'_

''That doesn't mean anything, it doesn't listen to me ever!" Kakashi argued with the boy, said male ignoring anything he had to protest his dark orbs staring at his uncover bits vicariously. It had the leaf jounin unsettled. "Stop looking at me like that!" Itachi raised his eyes to stare at the the other man's face a wicked smile on his lips. He didn't need to say anything.

_'Oh fuck...'_

**oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

This chapter was perhaps the quickest to write as it came out in like three days, but somehow I didn't like it much, felt a bit rushed... Besides I had to end it here as I wasn't sure what to write anymore. Unless I was going to continue with Itachi bouncing on Kakashi's lap... not that I don't think he wouldn't do that. I just don't know how to start!

At one point I had this image of someone saying. "Oh my god he killed Hidan, you bastard!" I deleted it for obvious reasons... Though Hidan will often die as he interacts with Kakashi and Itachi.


	5. Chapter 5

Urgh... forgot to pu the title, not that a title is terribly important but thanks for reviewing so quickly xoBreathe and LuvLuvKakashi! I must ask what the anonymous reviewer was talking about saying my papa never claimed me...

To answer your question LuvLuv, Can't you tell? oo

As to what happens after the smex. Its... more smex! Yes! I want this story littered with man pronz! Coming soon in the 09'. (Hopefully sooner... maybe.)

**Feeding the Hungry Beast**

There was a brief moment when they were locked in a mind battle as they gazed into each others eyes that Kakashi just remembered how stupid that was. Itachi was a genjutsu user, with the sharingan on top of that, and his eyes were his most dangerous weapon. What was he thinking just staring at them? Even as he thought this his manly pride told him not to look away or he'd lose the game.

Or maybe he already did.

Itachi restless with just the staring he moved away from the edge of the pool where, in turn, Kakashi took a step back. Intrigued by this the brunette stood up and took another step and once again the leaf jounin followed suit. What silly little child's play.

"Are you going to flee?"

"If I have too, I might."

The look Itachi had after that was in a word, disturbing. Kakashi wasn't sure what to make of the almost wounded look in his eyes and wondered if it was some sort of trickery to take him off his guard.

_'Emo Itachi, remember emo Itachi.'_Not that he couldn't ever forget the image of Itachi crying his eyes out covered in blood, just it was hard to keep that image in his head right now with a venerable, naked and wet adonis looking at him like Kakashi was his reason for being.

"Ummm." '_Shit.'_ "Don't you want..." _'Can't believe I'm saying this...' _"Do you want get some chocolate milk?" There was a long awkward pause that the leaf jounin was becoming familiar with, best friends even, before the brunette answered.

"I want some ice cream too." Kakashi let out a relieved sigh.

"Sure."

"And some natto, sweet meat buns."

"Whatever you want Itachi."

"And I want you to feed me."

The jounin was just making his way out of the water then tripped back into it when he rose for air coughing out the accidental intake he shouted.

"What?!" When Itachi frowned almost cutely Kakashi had to remind himself he was still a prisoner of sorts, he had to appease this man. _'More like a big spoiled kid.'_

"Erm yeah sure. Lets go get dressed then eat." The alternative was have sex and the Konoha ninja still had mixed feelings about that. No, he **needed** to stay away from the sex.

Quickly walking out the bathroom into the men's locker he was dressed even before Itachi emerged from the bathhouse and he stared at the far wall **away**from were the criminal nin was getting dressed.

"Kakashi-san can you not stand to look at me?" The boy wasn't far behind him with a somewhat desperate tone in his voice like he was in need of reassurance. Crap, what a time for the teen to have a mood swing.

"Ummm no, no. I'm so hungry I could eat my arm." _'Yeah, totally believable.' _"Lets go quick-_**ly!**_" Kakashi screeched at the end of his sentence because Itachi had come up behind him and done the most unexpected and grossly violating thing a person had ever done to him.

Itachi grabbed and held his hand.

"Would we be going now Kakashi-san?" Dark black eyes bore into one visible brown one that was full of fear and shock. The skin of his hand burned and itched. If he wasn't wearing his glove he was sure he'd rather gnaw off his hand then have the other touch it. Once again in his head he'd had the mantra. _'Pregnant Itachi. Crazy Itachi. Crazy Murders. Will kill Icha Icha and Konoha. Must obey.' _

"Y-yeah." His eye twitched but he open the door and left none-the-less continuing to let the boy hold his hand as he let it hang there by his side. Every now and again it would twitch and spasm to which Itachi might have wrote off as a sign that the leaf jounin was showing affection. In reality it was Kakashi's inner killer instinctively telling him to crush the palm he held. He wasn't the only one who had these hang ups. Anybody who had a decent amount of battle experience grew to avoid outward affection. Hell if he saw Kureinai and Asuma hug he'd die of a heart attack. After laughing his ass off. Why the Uchiha prodigy would want to do such a thing was beyond Kakashi and the jounin was seconds away for just asking for sex if it meant freeing his hand from such a torment.

Maybe that was the teen's angle all along.

On the outside walkway as they left the onsen area Kakashi imagined what sort of odd picture they made. One boy dress in black and red with the aura of death surrounding him standing closely next to a masked ninja completely dressed and armed to the teeth. Both wearing Konoha headbands, one of a Konoha loyal, one of a traitor. Holding hands. _'Holding hands...'_A flash of a happy painting of a flowery meadow with butterflies, rainbows, unicorns and woodland creatures danced all around them as they skipped merrily down a yellow brick road crossed his vision. He also imagined Itachi holding out his sword and killing all the animal life with a happy smile on his face. These imagines were disturbing and the older ninja decided to banned himself from thinking.

His brain didn't listen to him but thankfully what he was paying attention to now was that as they walked into the Inn toward the restaurant area they were receiving strange looks from random people. His logical side was thinking it was because they were obviously ninja but he couldn't help but wonder if people even realized Itachi was a man. Maybe, maybe not. Kakashi knew Itachi was a man** quite well **which didn't help dismiss the paranoia that he looked seriously gay right now.

_'So very gay.'_

"Kakashi-san! You enjoy bathtime? Tobi wanted to come too but Itachi-chan wouldn't let him." Out of nowhere a orange mask ninja popped around the corner throwing his hands up like a little kid would and excitedly talked to him.

_'Itachi-chan?'_

Itachi standing next to him drew in closer and glared at Tobi.

"If you don't mind we are on a date. Please excuse us." Kakashi almost hyper ventilated at the statement ignoring completely that Itachi'svoicewas downright possessive as he was pulled pass the masked Akatsuki member forcibly.

This was going too far.

"Date?!" Kakashi hissed ready to tug his hand away, consequences be dammed.

"Don't talk to **him,** don't be alone with **him**. If **he**comes near you politely leave or force your way out." The grip on his hand became a vise as the teen spoke and had Kakashi's ears perking at the tone. He ignored the fact the boy didn't answer his question and wondered about what sort of danger the crazy happy ninja was to Itachi that the brunette told him outright to shun him. He'd have to find out.

"Why?"

"Just do as I say." Came a blunt cold answer. It was weird because this was the normal Itachi. The one he saw and met in battle, yet the other was still holding his palm captive even more tightly than before. He'd ask later when the teen wasn't so defensive.

At the restaurant the brunette lead them to an unoccupied small table that sat maybe three or four at best. Kakashi was relieved greatly when the boy finally dropped his hand. Actually he hadn't felt that way since he was a kid on Christmas morning. He rubbed it discreetly trying to get the warmth of another person out and sat down. Itachi took off his coat gracefully and properly hanging it over his chair but instead of sitting down he came over and pulled out the leaf jounins chair he just got in and sat down on his lap.

_'Why God? Why?'_

Kakashi gave up and slouched his head into the nearest resting place which happened to be Itachi's shoulder and ignored that the teen started petting him. He was trying to pretend he was somewhere else but having no such luck. He almost felt like crying at the injustice. It was daunting to think this was going to be his life for the next six months. _'Oh god I can't. No.' _

"What would you like to eat Kakashi-san?"

"No food. I feel sick." Funny how just a couple of minutes ago he would have ate a rat. They always were one of his least desired forms of food on the go.

"Does your stomach feel ill?" It was then Itachi made to slither his hand up Kakashi's vest that the jounin grasped it before it could go any farther.

"Yes, don't touch it. Why don't you order what you want?" The jounin didn't look up when the teen waved the waitress over. He missed the longing stare she gave him and the ensuing glaring match between her and Itachi. He also didn't pay attention for when she came back and told Itachi there was no horseradish and peaches to put on his chicken. When someone came out moments later to help the woman off to a doctor because Itachi used a genjutsu on her the jounin was still mourning the loss of his freedom and fighting a depression on what was surely living the hell that was inevitable to come.

It was over, he was stuck and there was no one to help him out.

When dinner came, enough to feed several people, Kakashi was glad he had no appetite. Who the hell eats sardine pudding and cheese? The fact Itachi was going to eat it was enough to state his hunger. To smash it completely. The teen on his lap handed him the fork and prodded him with a finger. Such a innocent gesture it set the jounin off balance. He stared transfixed at the brunette in his lap as the man looked at him patiently yet expectantly. Something in his head clicked when he realized that Itachi was in fact making him feed him by hand.

Kakashi was staring at the fork and stabbing into one of the concoctions on the table as he briefly admired that the chef had all these ingredients to serve to begin with. He was holding said fork thinking if he stabbed Itachi in the eye right then he could get out of this. All he'd have to do is be quick about it while the other's guard was down. Hesitating he looked at the fork in hand like in this moment in time it was a life altering tool. Which in a sense it was. He could be free and all he had to do is puncture Itachi's jugular with the said metal object. Kakashi's heart was beating fast racing with the thoughts and images in his head.

He could see himself killing Itachi and the blood splatter. He could assume the following scenario of having to fight Kisame, possibly Tobi right afterward and the two other Akatsuki members if he didn't run fast enough. Potentially he could die after this, risking a small chance at freedom with killing the person saving him from death. Itachi was the reason he and many others weren't dead right now. If he stabbed the teen now and didn't get killed by the others and made it back to Konoha what were the chances of them following through with their threat? It was nearly guaranteed. So many paths, what ifs and percentage of survival was minimal at best. There was something else too.

His eyes averted from the fork to look at the boy's stomach unhidden by the cloak. If Itachi had breasts it would surely catch ones eyes that the woman was pregnant, but as such Itachi was a man and it was just so hard to grasp. Hard but not impossible. Yet so difficult to come to terms with. Kakashi couldn't shrug off the feeling this could all still be a ruse only to confuse him and use him for some diabolical scheme in the future. Yet he knew his life just wasn't that valuable to be used in such a way. They had little to gain from tricking him or at least to the length they were extending. Not to mention that bump... Itachi's stomach looked swollen and disproportion. Definitely not natural.

The impatient annoyed look in Itachi's eyes was practically burning holes into Kakashi's skull but the man wouldn't look up and kept holding his fork and food hostage. He was hungry and had enough with the leaf jounin just staring at his stomach! After another moment a dark eye looked up and held some weird glimmer in his eye. The silver hair man looked as though he came to some grave conclusion and brought the food closer to the criminal nins mouth. Right when the fork reached his mouth something crossed the others eye and Itachi continued to look into it as he wrapped his lips around the metal object to get the slightly chilled chicken meal.

"Ah!"

Itachi moaned and chew happily getting this strangely please look crossed his features and Kakashi stared transfixed momentarily. The other man practically radiated happiness and pleasure which was slightly disconcerting for Kakashi. It would be all the encouragement he'd need to take them to bed. He was trying to avoid that road as much as he could. Itachi looked at him and opened his mouth again as to beckon the man to give him more and the jounin had to comply stabbing his fork into the meat more than necessary and delicately placing it in the other mouth so he could delightedly chew.

"This is exquisite."

"I don't know how you can eat this stuff." Kakashi stared at it with disdain even as he picked up and fed the other another forkful trying not to notice the staring of others.

"Well, its hormonal. I would never eat this stuff in my life. But..." Itachi shifted to an almost logically part of his normal self but attacked the fork as soon as it came into view. Which had the other man's lips twitching fighting off a smile. He was trying not to think it was cute. Which it wasn't, really!

"God keep going and I want the pudding, and some of that turnip stew pickle miso soup."

"Ugh." Still for Kakashi this whole scenario was disgusting. If his fellow ninja could only see him now. A dangerous ninja sitting on his lap eating from the palm of his hand and god what nasty things he was eating. It was several dishes later that the teen seem to slow down and someone sat across from them like he belonged there.

"Kakashi-san! Tobi is happy to see you! When your finished eating will you play with Tobi?" The orange masked ninja grip the table and practically leaned into the jounin's face ignoring Itachi glaring death mere inches away at him.

"Erh I don't kn-."

"Go." He was cut off with a voice filled with nothing but hatred and disdain. It had Kakashi sitting back in check. For a moment there he was almost afraid. He never heard Itachi sound like that. In fact, Itachi never had any emotion in his voice before.

_'But thats not true.'_Visions of a time not so long ago were replaying in his head from the limbic system of his brain that betrayed him right then. He hid his random nose bleed as the two Akatsuki members stared eachother down. It was though there was a great battle being fought right then even though neither one was moving a muscle. No weapons were drawn, no hands signals were made nor words spoken. Just two cold stares from two deadly killers for no reason known to the leaf jounin.

Kisame just entered the bar following the strange chakra vibe in the air when the silence was broken at that moment with words Kakashi really didn't want to hear spoken.

"Kakashi-san, lets go fuck." The silver hair man held his breath before choking on it and the other man across the table made no outward show of moment as the shark ninja froze. Itachi was getting up and tugging childishly at his sleeve seconds later. The jounin of konoha was at a loss. What was he suppose to say to that? Fear struck him then, and resistance.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Itachi stilled instantly and the air in the room grew thick with tension, maybe even more so than before. Kakashi was beginning to think refusal wasn't a good idea, but agreeing seemed like less of a good one. Because like... it was wrong. Sorta.

"Kakashi-san..." The hair on his neck prickled at the tone and he dared to glance into the beast's eyes. The masked nin could see a glimmer of dangerous intent. Vicious, vindictive, gruesome intent. It had Kakashi frozen on the spot. "You don't like me?" The words were so light and flippant it was terrifying.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Itachi had unsheathed a katana and raised it in the air to smash it down on the table. He was quick to turn and glare at the rooms occupants.

"Everyone should die..." Itachi was fast. Real fast. With the jounin's normal eyes he couldn't track the movement but tables, chair and walls were being destroyed. It looked like he was going after the people but was hard to tell. Everyone was quickly evacuating for their lives. While Tobi and Kisame watched.

"Itachi-chan is killing everyone again." The orange masked ninja hung his head.

"You dumbass leaf ninja look what you made him do! You upset him! He is in a delicate state now and you-!" The jounin didn't stay still for the rest of it. There was a scared little man huddled in the corner and Itachi had his eyes on him. Before the enraged mother-to-be could swipe though Kakashi was standing in front of him holding out his hands. He really wanted to be holding a weapon right now but if he drew it it might make this situation worse. He saw how fast Itachi was to deal with Hidan, Kakashi really wanted his head to stay attach to his neck if he could. At least Itachi lowered his sword.

"Itachi... put the weapon away." He was met with silence and a bone-chilling glare.

"I'll get you all the chocolate milk and sweets you want."

"Do you really think that method will work to placate me?" At least he was talking, if not with tone laced in hatred and great bloodlust.

Too think less than twenty four hours ago he was a free man, a oblivious man to all that was happening with Itachi and the Akatsuki nine. Now as he looked into the blood red sharingan eyes staring death in the face he realized his trifle with Itachi a couple years ago was a mere scuffle compare what the teen could do when unleashed. All without the brunette even twitching. Kakashi's blood was ice cold within seconds and in that stare he felt the other telling him what he had to do and it scared the life out of him.

He'd have to sacrifice his flesh to the lion.

Kakashi looked behind himself and saw the pathetic man pleading with his eyes to save him. While the patrons had already run away with their tails between their legs there were still guests in the Inn and staff. He could just see the older Uchiha now slitting throats and dropping bodies left and right. Kisame and Tobi looked on quietly. They were just waiting for him to screw up and give them a reason to go to Konoha and wreck the place. That would be a shame. They just rebuilt from the last psycho attack.

"Itachi..." He wanted to drop dead that instant like never before in his life. _'Forgive me mommy.'_ "Let's go upstairs, _together_." He almost choked on saying it hoping against hope Itachi would get the insinuation and just leave it at that. What Kakashi received in response was a blank stare. The fury in his eyes was gone but he still had yet to sheath the sword.

"You want to go to our room?" He asked calmly, inquisitive. It would seem Itachi would not make this easy on him.

"Yes." It hurt to say but he managed to get it out without cracking.

"For sex?" It was a test, inquiry. Itachi was reading him.

"Ye-yeah..." Kakashi felt like blushing. God he felt sick, like this was dirty and wrong. Was this how normal people felt reading porn? He could slightly understand the stares before as he walked around town while nose deep in it. Not that he'd stop now though. He just understood.

"...'' The silence was either a good or bad sign but the anticipation was excruciating.

"Tell me you want me. Tell me just how much you need me." Itachi put his sword away and crossed his arms. The leaf jounins eyes couldn't bug out his sockets any farther without falling out. Oh god he was in some deep shit! Not only did he have to do it he had to beg for it? Just the thought of admitting it outloud alone. He didn't even want to say it to himself! It makes it real. Because despite the fact he was very much held against his will here and admittedly (to self only) frighten to be Itachi's sex slave on the other hand he was no little virgin. That idea was quite appealing after knowing just how hot in bed the brunette was.

Looking to Kisame and Tobi without moving his head they would hear his declaration. Not to mention the group of random peepers by the doorway sickly fascinated with the outbreak. They'd all hear him! They'd all assume he was some gay guy with a crazy lover! _'You have to do it. Do it for Konoha. Do it for your friends and students. Do it for the porn.'_

"Itachi." He dropped his voice to a low husky tone stifling the need to have a panic attack as he walked closer to the man in question daring to grab his hand and hold it up to his chest. "I need you like I need the blood pounding in my-"

"Done. Take me upstairs." Kakashi almost tripped over himself at the other just cutting him off and giving in like that. All that fretting just for that to happen? He was ready to give the performance of a lifetime just shot to hell because of what? He didn't have time enough to complain in his head as Itachi grabbed his wrist and forcefully tugged him to move. Kakashi turned around just enough to see the cowering man run out the door and Kisame to glare at him hatefully while Tobi did this little half wave.

People in this organization were freaks.

Itachi was fast to get him into the room only then releasing his cuff. When the door clicked shut his adrenaline went from overdrive to combustible. He was huddled against the door watching as Itachi walked over to the bed and sat down gingerly black hawk like eyes staring him down, watching, waiting. The jounin would have to play the part. He'd have to prove to Itachi he wanted to be here. Because he really didn't want to be!

He didn't!

Stepping away from the door the blood pounding in his ears getting louder with every step he took closer. Dark hair, dark eyes, ivory pale skin, a slender body. Just two dark obsidian orbs looking at him with nothing but the deepest sort of sin glinting in their depths. The leaf nin tried to qwell the feeling in his gut, the one whispering to him all the things he should be doing, could be doing. _'Look at those eyes, they want you. They desire to please you. Those are the eyes of someone who longs to be under you, dominated. They are the eyes of your worshipper wanting to be worshiped.' _He pushed it back down. The logical part of him not backed up and swollen with blood was telling him to stay in caution, don't let his guard down. This wasn't just a random one night stand on the fly. This was his mission, his duty. He had so many reasons why he had to do this, why he shouldn't want to do this and how he didn't want to go through with it. Standing before Itachi, his gaze entirely focused on Kakashi's form the jounin concluded he'd have to stop thinking about it since it was inevitable anyway.

Besides his other head had decided what it wanted.

The silver hair male tried to still the tremble in his hands as he reached for Itachi's shoulders praying the other wrote it off as anticipation instead of fear. The dark blue partial mesh cloth was soft under his palms. It wasn't silk but it was certainly more comfortable than cotton. He reached up slowly to pull down his mask wanting to hide the flush of one intense gaze making him feel nervous yet aroused. Once the strip of cloth was removed, without an explosion like his body expected, Itachi's hand lightly touched his cheek. Kakashi was quick to flinch. A flash of hurt passed the brunette's eyes and the jounin was quick to dispel it.

"It's sensitive."

The teen's eyes lit up with understanding. He smiled with a devious tilt on his lips as he tried again. The jounin wanted to pull away but held still. _'What Itachi wants...'_

The stroke was light at first. A grazing of his fingertips in greeting making the skin prickle sending a shiver through Kakashi's neck and torso. Then experimentally Itachi pressed harder and the jounin gasp his visible eye dilating. A violent jolt of pleasure racked through him burning his blood fueling the erection at half mast in his pants. This is why he hated his face to be touched. He didn't let most lover's go near it, some never see it, only one ever got to touch it. The dark hair minx lifted his other hand to softly cradle both side of his jaw and cheeks. The silver hair man was itching to back away or to push forward and attack the other's body.

"Your skin is smooth, so fine." Itachi's tone was light and husky as he lean closer to Kakashi's face pulling his hand aside to kiss it tenderlythennuzzleit. The older man was panting at that point his groin, a large bugle his pants, visibly aroused. The blood in his body was unevenly separated to his head and his cock leaving none for his arms and legs as they went numb. The skin of his cheek was burning with over stimulation coloring his face crimson and causing sweat to trickle down his brow. When Itachi's tongue snaked out to lick it off his jaw Kakashi pushed him down to the mattress.

All at once he was peeling off the other's mans shirt and ripping off his pants. Small touches and caresses were applied to the boy's inner arm and thighs causing the dark hair beauty to shiver from the teasing. Invitingly Itachi relaxed against the pillow and parted his legs for the other man to do as he pleased. It was then the jounin stopped.

The swell of Itachi's stomach was visible once again redirecting Kakashi's attention. It was unreal that bump. He couldn't begin to believe it was actually there. Placing his hand on it lightly he rubbed over the slight protrusion and Itachi sighed. His eye darted to the others face but saw no sign of discomfort. He ran his finger tip lightlyaroundthe younger man's belly button in circles before pressing his palm down to massaging it. He heard the other release a purr-like groan from his throat and stopped. Peeling off his metal knuckle gloves he placed both hands on the teen's stomach and placed a light pressure over the hot skin. It was smooth and soft, like putty in his hands. Gliding his hands up and down he watched in avid fascination as the other's cock went from limp to firmness turning a rosy pink under his gaze. As the boy wiggled and moaned the heat in Kakashi's pants went from a dulling warmth to a hot fire fanned by the small action.

The older man stopped to take off his headband off and vest before he leaned over to kiss across the sexy teen's stomach. His tongue dipped into the indent in Itachi's hip and he grazed his teeth across the bone as the boy reached out grasping his broad shoulder with one hand using the other to tug at the strands of his silvery hair. Dark eyes turned a smoky hue watching Kakashi's every move, every breath. The criminal nins stomach turned in knots coiling with arousal as the other unabashedly assaulted his lower region. Those slim pink lips moved from his hip to the junction between his cock and thigh making his legs seize up and his throat to burble another purring moan. The teasing was mind boggling and he relished every minute of it. It was what he missed, longed for in the months he spent alone with his hand. He never pleasured himself since he reached puberty, never had the urge to. One taste of Kakashi's body and his body's needs had caught up with him.

"Ngh!" Itachi's legs spread of their own accord as he fought down a cry once the hot mouth placed wet open mouth kisses up his harden shaft only for his tongue to lick up the pearl of liquid off the tip. What Itachi couldn't hide was the long whine he made once the jounin swallowed the mushroom tip. Slow licks and a soft suction had the brunette trying to force his hips up but he was swiftly halted with one strong arm. Itachi's hands grip the appendage holding him down clawing into it in protest but did no more to remove it. Kakashi merely smirked to the action ignoring the stingy pain and agonizingly slow lowered his lips halfway down sensually lapping at the sides and pulsating veins filling with blood becoming hotter in his mouth before rising up again tasting more of the sweet cum dribbling out at a fast rate.

"Kakashi please." Another whine had the leaf jounin looking up. Itachi's eyes were lidded, dipped in lust and coated in desperation. His lips were open as he panted his face wet and flushed the stray short hairs that usually framed his features were clinging to his cheeks and neck. The teen was a sight for sore eyes and the vulnerability he admitted had the jounin closing his eyes and swallowing all the hot flesh Itachi had to offer. Every inch was buried in Kakashi's mouth, tickling the back of his throat. There was a hoarse cry above him and more hot fluid trickling down his throat. It had been some time since he did this to any man so he was slow in pulling up and repeating the action. It was after a short time he attempted to add a suction which had the young man bucking under him, swearing, then pleading again in such a way that had Kakashi's pants feeling more uncomfortable than before. If he didn't have his arm where he did trapping the teen the older man might have embarrassed himself coughing as though he was inexperienced. That just wouldn't do.

Whimpers turn to mewling and before long the boy was moaning low with seedy words and promises. The jounin was trying to last and refrain from rushing to the next part but Itachi was pushing his limits going as far to bring his own hands up and pinch at his dusty colored nipples begging Kakashi to take him hard and violently as he wanted._ 'I'll do whatever you ask of me. Please just enter me. **Please**.'_

Kakashi lifted his head and sat up wringing a cry of protest from Itachi. Black heated eyes looked at him with tears at the corners ready to fall at a moments notice. His jaw was already coated in saliva the sliver hair man had no doubt the other didn't even know was there. Wiping up the fluid on his chin Itachi leaned into the touch immediately and pulled his legs apart in a silent plea.

Kakashi's was turned on. This dangerous, gorgeous teen was _throwing_himself at him. Acting so slutty yet almost innocent. It was like he was with a different person from what he remembered. Before it was a stranger, a drag queen with a brazen mouth and hot body. Now he was in bed with a sexy killer. A man so wrong to touch it made the encounter hotter. A forbidden fruit so wanton for his touch that he'd give whatever to get it. Or rather do anything. Kakashi didn't know what he looked like at the exact moment but he knew it wasn't virginal. Maybe something more on the side of a beast.

The older man bent over and tenderly kissed over Itachi's chest and shoulder's his one hand moving down and in to grip the hard cock squeezing it once before asking. "Where is the lubrication?"

The actions earn him another needy cry and he forgave the boy for taking more time than needed to answer his question. Not that the jounin wasn't making it hard on him on purpose.

"In...in my cloak." Kakashi raised an eyebrow to this and pulled his cum soaked hand away placing it on the bedsheets beside Itachi and hovered above him. Just how long had Itachi been planning to do this? Maybe the teen's 'friends' weren't the only ones to planning to get him laid. Aside from that Kakashi had another problem.

The cloak was downstairs.

"One minute." He patted a thigh and got out of bed. Walking over to his duffel bag he rummaged around briefly the squeak of his rubber ducky breaking the silence of the room before he found condoms but no lube. _'Damn Naruto.'_ The teen didn't know how to pack. He dumped out all his stuff, weapons, porn, finally finding a tube of KY thanking the blond headed teen for remembering all his training. Life wasn't all about fighting.

Once he was on his feet again he noticed Itachi's eyes on him, the teen impatiently awaiting him in a way that the boy's hand found it's way to his lower region. Kakashi was a experienced man having seen many things in his twenty nine years on this planet but he had never seen something so intoxicating, pleasure inducing as the teen writhing against cheap plain cotton sheets clutching at the pillow above his dark head while holding his legs apart and fisting his generous endowment while his eyes held the deepest sort of wild need. More delicious ivory cream spilled over the boy's fist and Kakashi ached to run over there and mount the Uchiha. Only if he could get his feet to move from this spot.

"Kakashi." One word, three syllables spoken in such a husky sex laced voice that it had the man peeling off the rest of his clothes as he tripped over himself to get to the bed. In seconds he was between long slender legs uncapping the lube and squirting half the contents onto one swollen stomach. Itachi jumped at the cold liquid that fell, accidentally, onto his body before a warm hand scooped it up with a barely mumbled apology. At once the younger male felt three fingers rubbing against the sensitive slit of his body the cool liquid warming with the heat from the hand rubbing it over him. One prying finger dipped into the orifice teasing it into opening up. Itachi placed his hands on older man's biceps relaxing his body purposely even though his eagerness had him coiled up in knots.

The dark hair male felt as the digit went deeper sliding against the inner walls of his body before the finger swirled around the rim the sensation causing him to gasp. Though it wasn't like it was with Kakashi's tongue before it still felt good. Another finger joined its brother gliding over the smooth tissue making it heat up from the stimulation making Itachi moan. It felt better than it should have and yet it was far from enough.

"Don't fool around. Do it."

"I have to or it will hurt." A breathy voice replied.

"I can handle it. Take me." Itachi reached up and tugged on the other's hair. To this Kakashi leaned down his face settled next to the teen's dark hair while his body came to lay on top of the smaller mans. The other instinctively bucked up to grind his cock against the hard abs of the leaf jounins body this had the fingers inside him graze his sweet spot as a groan followed and he rocked his hips urgently. A heavy sigh later a third finger entered him and started stretching him quickly skimping over trying to pleasure him versus getting the muscles to loosen up faster.

"Fuck me damn it." The younger ninja tried to sound authoritative, he mostly succeeded, though it only cause the body above him to rock against him several times then a pair of soft lips to lick and kiss their way across hiss neck. A increase in pressure had teeth sinking into Itachi's skin and the teen hissed as the jounin marked him. The fingers left his body.

"Spoiled Uchiha. You always get what you want." Dark eyes blink at the other's words but as Kakashi lifted his head his eyes were looking between their bodies to where their cocks, a twin pair of crimson appendages, hung before he gripped his own stroking it twice with a soft moan and prepared to squeeze it inbetween Itachi's plump cheeks.

"Wait." He placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder bewildering the man as it was the brunette that practically begged to be taken only to ask the elder to stop.

"We can't do it with me on my back, it's bad for the fetus." Itachi pulled away twisting himself so that he laid on his side with his back to Kakashi lifting his one leg so it exposed his entrance. "Like this."

Kakashi stared at the other almost shocked and slightly annoyed. The expression didn't last long and with little thought on the matter he settled at the teen's back and pressed his cock against the soft yielding pucker. Without any interruption this time he slid inside getting as far as the head past the pink rim before stilling in pleasure. It felt so hot, so good. The slick muscles molded to him encasing him in a way that had him leaking precum before he could get any farther. Moaning loudly the older male pressed in, his shaft disappearing before his eyes into the tight hot warmth of Itachi's body. The jounin released his cock from his grip placing it on the teen's hip so he could slid all the way in. Settled in thigh to thigh Kakashi clenched his mismatched eyes shut and buried his face into the back of the brunette's head.

"Oh... Don't stop now." The Uchiha panted and the jounin realized the body next to him was trembling in his arms. The boy rocked back into him and they both moaned. To this the older male began a shallow rhythm getting use to both the position and tight body he plundered.

Itachi whimpered. His ass thoroughly on fire, but in a good way. His hands griped the pillow that his head laid on, partially turned into it. His moans got louder the longer they went on. With every inch of Kakashi that invaded his body, the sensitive inner walls burning from the arousing assault and retracted, the harder it became for the teen to breath. When the thrusts increased in force the brunette cried out as his prostrate was grazed once then struck sending tremors of pleasure over his body. He licked his dry lips and pushed back placing his open leg behind Kakashi entangling their legs so he could bounce against the thick erection entering him.

"Feels... so...oh...good." Itachi moaned out alternating between mewling and crying outright. It didn't matter that his cock laid neglected against the coarse sheets completely unstimulated, he felt his insides twist and burn building to a climax he felt was coming all too soon. He wanted to feel more of that hard heated flesh rip into him. He desired to have the cock trample his prostate continuously causing that delicious jolt of pleasure to race throughout his body and fizzle out only to repeat itself a second later. He loved being ravaged in a way Kakashi seemed to do without effort, attacking his pleasure points rousing him to a frenzy so that his body was aching for release but demanding to be raped more.

His cock leaked furiously dribbling onto the sheets and his skin grew hot and sticky. Their bodies were flushed and colored red sliding against one another with their combined sweat easing the movement. Itachi cried out at every thrust as Kakashi pounded against his prostate causing Itachi's rapid bucking to slow before dying out as he could do no more than moan into the pillow as his orgasm approached him. The jounin mercilessly pistioned into him groaning every so often with the soft massaging of the teen muscles making him buck harder and faster to greedily lap up the pleasurable friction. It was too hot, too tight felt too wonderful to last and once Itachi gave a high pitch wailed and tightened over his cock the silver hair male couldn't hold back and gave a few more powerful thrusts that had the bed slamming against the wall chipping it. All the brunette did was wail out louder quivering uncontrollably as he released over over his stomach and the unsuspecting bed below. As the clenching slick muscles of Itachi's insides died down the jounin stopped moving, the after shocks slowing to a standstill. He reached over to grab the teen's neglected arousal and squeezed it several times and the teen moaned weakly as the rest of his cum dripped onto the other's fingers. Kakashi brought his soiled fingers to his mouth and lapped up the sweet juices before the realization of what just happened crashed over him.

He had sex with Itachi again, even though he knew it was Itachi.

_'Shit.'_

The said teen unaware of the other man's internal dilemma pulled himself off of the softened cock inside him and turned around cuddling into the other's chest using his shoulder as a pillow.

"When I wake up I want to do it again." The teen declared before his breath evened out to a peaceful slumber unmindful of the cum slipping out from inside him. Kakashi was trying to fight a panic attack and debating on cutting off his dick. he knew he would never but he also knew at this point he couldn't deny Itachi sex. Which he really wanted to do, yet didn't.

"I'm so fucked."

oxoxoxoxoxo

Forgive me if the sex near the end got crappy. It's 8 in the morning and I haven't been to sleep. Also overlook the typos for the same reason. Spell check can only help so much. But I go it out! I don't have plans to abandon any fics for the future but I'm a slow updater. Reviews stroke my ego and make me write more.


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